#but recently i got burnt out and slept for two days straight with like. two breaks to take care of my dog

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

On Day 4 of my No Napping streak 😊

[your-greatest-queen]

I know a lot of folks don't like ADHD meds, for a variety of reasons, but oh my god. Oh my motherfucking god. These are a godsend for me.

I've been on concerta for about a year now (lowest dosage) and it's helped improve my focus and has lowered my depression. I thought it was amazing. Recently, I got my dosage upped.

My bedroom was a high level depression pit. It was nasty. I haven't actually slept in my own bed in months because it was covered in stuff. But it was so overwhelming to look at that it triggered executive dysfunction with just a glance, and so I never could clean it. My room is now clean; reorganized, dusted, vacuumed, disinfected, redecorated- it's been YEARS since it looked this nice.

I'm in grade 12.5 because I was so dysfunctional in grade 11 that I dropped out halfway through. I spent grade 12 making up for it; but even then, on my first dosage and doing better, I wasn't doing great. I haven't taken notes in years. I have winged almost every test I've ever taken. I wrote every essay the night before it was due. Rough drafts who? I managed to pull decent grades, sometimes even pretty good ones. But it was never ending stress because of my habits and I was almost always behind.

I'm ahead in my classes now. I'm doing assignments the day they're assigned. I'm writing notes and brainstorming pages of ideas and breaking things down for myself. I'm getting straight 90s. I haven't felt this confident and secure in academics since middle school.

Our house was never totally clean. The basement (my charge) was always a disaster. Having people over was at best a little shameful and at worst downright humiliating. My mother cleans, but the messes she makes outweigh it. It was my job to handle the basics, at least, after school every day. I couldn't. I could do a few things, but I got burnt out or bored too fast to complete a day's work. Small projects were put off for months.

I come home from school now and within a couple of hours, I've vacuumed upstairs and downstairs, I've done the dishes, I've taken out the trash, I've brushed the cats, I've cleaned the living room and the kitchen, I've switched the laundry- yesterday I used the toilet and then just. Reorganized the entire bathroom. Today I came home and immediately untangled the huge knotted ball of my mother's necklaces that she asked me to fix for her weeks ago. On Saturday not only did I brush my cats, I also shampooed them, conditioned them, and clipped their claws.

I used to hoard clothing because going through them was the most tedious, boring task in existence. I've recently donated over six full garbage bags worth of stuff.

I used to have to write down every single task as soon as it was given, even if there were only two, because I'd always forget at least one thing. Now I can remember upwards of five things at once, even better than the person who assigned the task in the first place.

My moods feel more regulated, I'm socializing more, I'm advocating for myself in situations where I'd previously let people walk over me, I'm making goals for the future, I have more real free time, I'm less stressed- it's a little sad that I've spent almost a decade not getting this, but I am BEYOND thrilled that I get to have this now :D

Anyway, lil happy rant because I'm very very excited!! Thanks for reading, byyyye~

[technowoah]

THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)

CHAPTER FIVE : AND I REALIZE THREE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.

Chapter Summary: You had gotten what you wanted, but at what cost? Nightmares ensue, and Dream’s true colors begin to show.

pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader

an// IM BACK!! hopefully yall like this chaper cause this is the last one that I wrote in the past, Im writing chapter 6 rn so it might take a while. Also sorry for not posting requests I really wanted to get this chapter out there

⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, arguing, smoking, explosions, gaslighting(?), not proofread.

Series Masterlist 

"Good job you two! This is all yours now.”

Dream had led you and Eret back to the castle, all of them still battered and bruised from the war they recently had. You had already taken off your armor and now you were wearing underneath your L'Manburg outfit that was torn and burnt showing some of your skin which was also burnt or cut. You had noticed on the way to the castle that Dream had kept on looking at the outfit that Eret and you had on with disgust, like a taunt.

You could finally relax in the huge castle that you apparently deserved because you and Eret had taken the first lives of the citizens of L'Manburg. In your heart you knew that L'Manburg was still a country. They all have two more lives and they will build the country up again with those two lives. You sighed then kept walking into the throne room. you looked at the two big thrones that sat next to each other. One for a king and one for a queen.

"Why are you standing there? Sit down! Relax!" Dream patted one of the thrones.

You and Eret had sat down on the thrones next to each other looking around the huge throne room and Dream smiling right in front of them. Once you both sat down you tried to sit up straight, but you wanted to slump down into the comfy, plush, velvet and gold chair. The two of them sat on velvet and gold thrones while in burnt and torn L'Manburg uniforms. It was a sight to see, and if someone didn't know the context of what just happened, this scene would've made sense to them.

"I'm happy you did this. You deserve all of this." Dream said while walking along the marble floor.

"It's beautiful, but I'm exhausted." You let your head fall to the side. You sighed wanting Dream to leave so you could finally get some rest.

"I bet."

"Eret are you okay?" You spoke up after Dream.

Eret had a look that you couldn't make out. He just stared off into space in his own mind. He shook his head after you called for him again.

"Yeah, yeah I am fine. I'm just thinking." Eret quickly responded.

"What are you thinking about?" Dream said in a monotone voice.

"If we did the right thing." Eret sighed.

You slowly nodded because you were thinking the exact same thing. They were traitors, you had built somewhat of a connection with those people you helped kill. And now what? you're living in a huge castle and apparently you "Shouldn't be feeling this way", Dream claimed.

"You two are overreacting. They are fine." Dream said bluntly while staring at them with a straight face.

That was a huge lie, their lives were taken today. They're not just “fine”.

"You two were never a part of that place anyways. This is your home! Why would you need to wear those hideous colors? They look bad on you, it's unflattering. There is no need to go back." Dream explained.

You hang your head not knowing what to say to the man, there wasn’t really anything to say but you spoke up hoping the words will come to you.

"I don't-"

"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. You're safe now. Did you get hurt?" Dream asked.

The bruises and scars said differently.

"Remember when I said that?" Dream pushed the question.

You rubbed a burn mark on your wrist and laughed a bit. "No! Actually I don't. We're safe now, but that doesn't mean we aren't hurt." You chuckled in disbelief.

"Well maybe if you listened to me you wouldn't be so anxious. If you listened you wouldn't have been so hesitant. You're safe." Dream said sternly.

"Maybe you're tired, Dream. We're all tired. Shall we go to bed?" Eret stood up and held out his hand to help you up from your seat.

You accepted his hand and started to follow Eret through the huge castle making your way through the huge, high ceiling halls. The three walked towards the king's and queen's room in the castle, Dream kept a slower pace and walked behind the two wanting to get one more word in before leaving the castle.

"If you two are ever in doubt just remember that you are on the right side of history." Dream said then turned around to leave the two alone.

You both stopped and turned around to see Dream’s back facing the both of you as he walked away. You and Eret eventually made it to your new bedrooms. There was a big door which held a huge room made for the both of them to sleep in and two separate rooms next to the bigger door which were made for one person. Eret and you stood in front of the bigger door staring at the intricate designs on the door not speaking to each other.

"So?" Eret laughed.

"So!" You exclaimed while chuckling.

"Are you okay sleeping in that huge room tonight?" Eret asked.

"I'm not totally comfortable with that, but it would be weird if we slept in the same bed. Don't get me wrong! You're a great friend, but-"

"Y/N/N stop! I'm okay with that too. I wasn't looking to sleep in the same bed. Yes we're married, but we're just staying friends, hey we might get a divorce later." Eret explained.

"If I do, we won't be king and queen anymore." You said softly to your husband.

"Is that what you want? To be "queen"?" Eret asked while putting air quotes around the word queen.

You paused for a moment then answered his question.

"I don't know where I'm supposed to be, Eret." You looked up at him sadly and he pulled you in for a hug. It took you everything you had to not cry into the L'Manburg uniform Eret was wearing. Today drained you mentally and physically, your hands were raw from shooting arrows, you had burn marks on your skin and your feet hurt from running through the kingdom. You weren’t sure about where you would go, because this didn't feel like your home.

"Let's go to bed and we'll talk in the morning. Rest on it because I'll happily divorce you so you can find your place in this huge kingdom." Eret laughed and let you out of his arms.

You chuckled and then let him go walking into what was supposed to be the queen's room and right next to it was the king's room which they both walked in after saying goodnight and closing their doors finally having time to themselves after a long day.

You finally took off the L'Manburg uniform and laid it on a velvet chair in the corner of the huge room. You stared at the uniform before going to the nearest closet and picking out something to wear for that night. The queen's room was basically the huge couple's room that you found before, but just with a smaller bed. There were still trinkets, jewelry and even clothes in the closet. you took a nightgown out of the closet and sat on the plush bed. You ended up laying down staring at the high ceiling thinking of the predicament Eret's question brought.

You finally retired for the night and crawled into bed and got under the soft covers. The window was open so a soft cool breeze was blowing through the room letting the curtains flow with the breeze. If you left you wouldn't have anywhere to go except back to L'Manburg, they would never let you back even if you tried. They probably hated your guts by now, so maybe divorcing wasn't a good idea. You had a set home here, you had food, clothes, and you weren't under attack every minute. you didn't have to watch your back for any enemies.

Your mind slowed down as you finally lulled yourself into a deep sleep forgetting the troubles in your mind for only a moment.

-------------------

The sunset fell over the horizon making it a gold, red color. It was beautiful. The trees were illuminated and the lakes had a certain glow to them. you could see mobs began to crawl out of the ground and caves, but you was safe up here.

You looked down and saw the familiar obsidian walls. It seemed like a faint memory, but in reality the walls were real. It was like you could feel the stone underneath your feet at this moment. you could see inside L'Manburg.

you saw Tubbo and Tommy laying in the grass talking to one another. you saw Fundy sleeping in the grass next to them. There were two new faces you had never seen before. It was a woman with short pink hair and another man with a shaved head. It might've been your mind putting people in your dreams to fill space. Then you saw Eret sitting by a small river letting his bare feet flow in the water. It was a peaceful scene.

"Beautiful sunset isn't it?" A voice showed up beside you.

It was Wilbur. He had his uniform on, it was clean like the war didn't even happen.

"It is really beautiful." You agreed watching the sun continue to lower over the trees.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall." Wilbur said, keeping his gaze soft at the sunset.

You hummed but stayed quiet admiring his words and the sunset.

"Let me tell you what I wish I'd known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story. After you took one of my lives away I understand now. You can't control other people and their motivations."

You hang your head in disappointment, but then Wilbur continued.

"But I know that we can win. I know that greatness lies in you, but remember from here on in that history has its eyes on you. History will forever have its eyes on you no matter what you do." Wilbur looked into your eyes as the sun set on the two of them the stars began to shine.

The light brown eyes Wilbur had turned darker because of the sunlight being gone. You looked out back at the mobs in the forest and the huge towers in the sky made the kingdoms members. you turned around and looked into L'Manburg. Or what was considered L'Manburg.

There was no one there anymore, instead of people there were huge amounts of TNT that filled the walls behind them. you could hear faint voices around them, people that you didn't know. It sounded like chaos. you whipped your head around to Wilbur who was dressed in a brown tattered trench coat, brown pants, and a white shirt instead of the L'Manburg uniform.

He had a cigarette in his mouth and matches in his hands. He smirked at you as the voices around you got louder and your head sounded like you were in the middle of a tornado. your head was buzzing as your eyes couldn't focus on Wilbur in front of you. It felt like these moments were happening right in front of your all at one time.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?"

"You know if I die, this country goes down with me."

"if respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?"

"Kill me, Phil. Phil, kill me, Phil kill me! Phil, stab me with the sword, murder me now, kill me! Look-"

"You know Y/N" Wilbur started next to you. He lit a match and turned around to L'Manburg which was now filled with TNT.

"Somethings. Somethings were never meant to be." He threw the match into the huge pile of TNT and all in a second the obsidian underneath your feet disappeared as you fell into the explosion beneath you.

-------------------------

"Fuck! Where am I?!" You shot up from your sleeping position in a cold sweat.

You frantically felt around the bed trying to convince yourself that you were physically at the castle in your bed. You finally caught your breath and laid back down in your bed finding yourself staring at the ceiling again. Even with the window open blowing cool air into the room, your skin still felt hot. You ended up tossing the covers off of you and making your way towards the entrance of the kingdom to get some air.

That dream was so much stuff in it you couldn't comprehend all of it. It was like Wilbur was there as if he was talking to you directly and it wasn't a dream and it made you second guess yourself and think that it may have not been a dream. You finally made it outside and sat on one of the steps that led people up into the kingdom. you sighed and breathed in the fresh air and it immediately relaxed your body and mind. You were alive, you were here and sadly Wilbur wasn't there. You closed your eyes and felt the breeze around you until you were startled by a figure beside you.

"You're up late. I thought you said you were mentally tired." Dream chuckled sitting beside you.

"I had a bad dream." You sighed.

"Hey don't take my name in vain like that" Dream laughed trying to bring up your mood.

Dream sighed and stood back up when he didn't get a response from his companion.

"Come one, let's go. Let's get your mind off of the one bad dream." Dream held his hand out, gesturing to you to take it.

You took his hand and then released it letting him lead the way to wherever the wind may take them. The dream is currently still stuck in your head. The voices from different people confused you and made your head spin.

"You want to be a hero Tommy?" What did that mean? Was someone threatening Tommy? Will someone threaten Tommy? You grew to care for that kid.

Who said "If I die, this country goes down with me"? What country. L'Manburg?

"If respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?" That one stumped you the most. you didn't even know if this was being spoken to you or to someone else. All of them except for the Tommy one.

Were they all even dreams? The one that haunted your mind the most was the one where someone was telling a man named Phil to kill them. Were you there for that moment? Did Phil kill the person? Who was Phil? All these thoughts and questions plagued your mind so much that your feet mindlessly carried you wherever Dream led you to.

"Here we are." Dream led You on top of a hill, a tall enough hill to see the main attraction. The place you missed the most, L'Manburg.

Tears started to form in your eyes and you tried blinking them away. All the moments of that dream appeared in your brain, but even stronger. you never felt these emotions before. Maybe L'Manburg was your home all along. you missed seeing Tubbo, Tommy, Eret and Fundy doing their own thing while your and Wilbur had a deep talk inside the van. you had spent weeks with them growing too attached to them and then ended up becoming a traitor.

"That place. You never belonged there. You're too good for them." Dream started and you stayed quiet watching the stars begin to disappear.

"Do you trust me?" Dream asked.

You stayed quiet not having the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear you say that you trusted him when in reality you couldn’t, you weren't fully there yet, not anymore. 

"They lied to you. It's not your home." Dream continued on letting you listen and not talk.

"How did you know if someone said it was my home or not?" You asked, startled.

"I might've been keeping an eye on you. I wanted to make sure my flower was okay." Dream kept his gaze on L'Manburg.

"Stop calling me that." You sighed.

"I never started. This was the first time I said that. Who called you flower?" Dream suddenly got serious, staring at you.

you kept your sights on the obsidian walls, not sparing him a glance. The stars began to fade and the sun peeked over the horizon. As they stayed longer the sun rose over the walls of L'Manburg. You started to remember the words in the dream you had.

"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall."

L'Manburg stands for independence. Independence. That word kept ringing through your head like a mantra until a few voices below the hill and near the walls alerted you.

"HEY! Hey Wilbur! Give me back my shit!" Tommy yelled as he stomped after the older man.

"Wilbur get Tommy to stop shouting and give him his swords back please!" Fundy yelled trailing behind the two.

"No not until he learns not to go start stabbing shit!" Wilbur yelled back at the other two.

You missed that. you missed the bickering and the nonsense they all shared. you were upset that Tommy still hadn't learned his lesson and you wished you were there beside them at that moment.

Dream spoke up giving you a look you couldn’t quite get. "You are never allowed to step inside those walls again.

"What gives you the right to tell me what and what not to do? Who does that make you? Who do you think-"

"YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO GO IN THOSE WALLS!" Dream yelled getting dangerously close to you.

You continued to stare at those blue eyes as the bright sun rose over the dark walls of L’Manburg. you didn't say anything but descended down the mountain alone with the sounds of Tommy, Fundy, and Wilbur bickering in the background, wishing you were there and not next to the man next to you who was staring at you angrily.

"I know what’s good for you! I know what's good for this country! Just trust me Y/N!" Dream yelled starting an argument

"Would you calm down! You came here to be all quiet and now you're yelling at me. You might want to be quiet before Wilbur hears you. Or do you want me to get him myself?" You yelled back, getting furious.

"Oh you wish! He doesn't care for you as much as me, Sapnap and George do! They agree as well!"

"Don't put words into his mouth!" You accused

"Oh! So if he cares so fucking much he would've help save you. And do you know what would happen if he saved you?! You would've died! I saved you! You were in a perfect situation and all you had to do is not complain! You're always overreacting." Dream ended with a huff and rolled his eyes while turning away..

you were speechless at this point. Overwhelming emotions consumed you. you couldn't believe you were overreacting. Maybe Wilbur wasn't everything you needed. you were overreacting, you were being selfish too. Dream was right. Dream walked over to you pulling you in a hug with L'Manburg was still in your sights.

"I did everything because I love you. You're too precious for them, you're not for them. They don't deserve you, you deserve someone who wants the best for you. A flower that needs a home and I'm here to give it to you." Dream softly explained.

Your eyes kept tearing up at the words and different emotions flowing through you. The sights on L'Manburg make your memories and questions come back. Where did you belong? But more importantly who was telling the truth?

Taglist: @hi-imuwu @k-l-a-w-s

[trueshellz]

Hello! Can I request Osamu and Kuroo finding out their S/O has trouble functioning recently. Like usually they're working a lot and being productive but now they're burnt out – no motivation, skipping meals, can't sleep, etc. If this is too much, please feel free to ignore! Thank you!

Thank you for the request! 💜

Osamu

You had always been good at hiding your stress from your family and it was no different when you started dating. Work had been more stressful than usual, there had been lots of looming deadlines and the change in management meant that the new person was trying to leave their mark on the company. Being a perfectionist, you didn't want your work scrutinised and had taken to working long hours with little sleep.

Osamu was aware of this, knowing to keep his distance when you had lots to do. Not because he didn't like your job, but more so that you would get little done, instead playing games or making out. You had planned to see him properly but he would always pop in during the early evening to drop off some food for you.

What you hadn't shared with him was how stressed you had felt. Instead of eating, the food had been piling up untouched. You were up most of the night working on the changes coming through from the new manager and relied on coffee and caffeine pills to help. When going into work had become too stressful, you had taken some time off to recover and focus on yourself. But this had just made you fall into a dark hole. You spent all day in pyjamas, barely eating still and slept most of the day. You didn't know how to tell your hardworking boyfriend how you felt, especially since he was so busy with the shop. If he could manage a business you should be able to do your job right?

It was the second week of not seeing you daily, Osamu was starting to get worried. You had told him that you were staying with family for a bit as you had been stressed with work and didn't want to take time away from him setting his restaurant up. You still spoke everyday, less so on video or the phone but your text conversations went on for ages.

"Osamu! How are you?"

Glancing up, he saw your parents approaching the shop as he was putting up a notice board. They had known for a while that you had been dating, being supportive of you both and the relationship between you had been great.

"I'm ok. How are you both? How's my lovely girlfriend doing?"

The shock on their faces was almost palatable, they both looked at each other confused before turning back to him.

"We've not spoken to her for about 3 weeks. She said she was staying at her apartment as she had deadlines to meet and needed to focus. You know how her siblings are when she's home."

"But..."

Osamu felt his heart stop as your parents told him what else you had said. The worst thoughts going through his mind as he listened half-heartedly to them. There was no reason to lie to him or your parents. He couldn't think of why you had spun this story to lie to everyone.

Waving farewell to your parents, his thoughts swirling around his head as he finished work and tidied up the shop. By the time he locked up, he was just angry at you. How dare you lie to him? You knew how much he valued truthfulness and honesty.

Storming to you apartment, he planned his conversation in his head. He was going to confront you about lying to your parents, lying to him and about not spending time with him. If you didn't want to date him, you should have just said. Knocking on your door, he waited for you to answer but there was nothing, the lights were off and he couldn't see inside. He didn't like using the spare key you gave him, not wanting to be that boyfriend who didn't trust their partner. But it seemed like he had no choice.

Unlocking your front door, he was shocked to see your post on the floor, more than would accumulate from a day or two. Walking through and calling our your name, he could see the apartment was messy too. The food he had been sending on the worktops, work papers all over the floor and your curtains were all closed too. He kept calling your name until he reached your room, hoping to hear you reply. Were you unwell? Why hadn't you told him? He would have helped you, looked after you.

You had been in bed all day, apart from a quick shower and eating a banana, the energy you usually had had completely depleted. Everything hurt. Arms. Legs. Head. Back. Your eyeballs hurt. How was that even possible? You thought you heard your name being called but figured it was just your mind playing tricks on you. It wasn't until your bedroom door opened and Osamu's face came into your peripheral vision did you really start to panic.

"'Samu... I... what?"

All thoughts of reprimanding you flew straight out the window when he saw you. Osamu actually felt his stomach drop. Your usually bright and cheerful face was dull, your eyes were sunken and you had bags under them, he was sure you'd lost weight and didn't even want to ask when you had last eaten.

"Baby."

That one word was enough to have you breaking down into tears, not pretty ones, loud and gut wrenching sobs as he rushed over and pulled you close. Yep, definitely lost weight. His chin resting on your head as he shushed you, arms wrapped around you tightly as he rubbed your back. Your tears soaking the front of his jacket, hand curled in his top as if he'd disappear. You hadn't realised how much you missed him until he appeared in front of you.

"Baby, why didn't ya tell me? I woulda come sooner."

You shook your head, unable to form words he he climbed into bed with you. Pulling you forward so you lay on him, his arms wrapped around you as you lay there. For a long time neither of you spoke, content to lay there while your breathing settled back down and eventually falling asleep again. As you did, he couldn't help but shed a few tears at the sight of seeing you so exhausted and broken, especially after he thought the worst, made him feel like shit. How could he have been so blind? He should have seen something was wrong?

"'Samu?" He felt you move and sit up, instead pushing your head back onto his chest, he cuddled you close and squeezed you lightly.

"I'm here, baby. Don't worry."

"'M sorry."

"For what?"

"Lying."

If he hadn't cried already, he was sure you were going to make him cry again. Closing his eyes against the tears, he propped you up so you could look down at him. Brushing the hair behind your ears, he thumbed your cheek lovingly before kissing you softly.

"I wish ya'd told me, baby. I woulda helped. I woulda checked on ya more and-"

"I didn't want to burden you. You've been busy with the shop and I just... didn't want to seem like I couldn't manage. And then it just got so much and I didn't know how to fix it."

Sitting up, Osamu pulled you into his lap so you were say sideways and rocked you gently as he spoke.

"Ya never have to be sorry for shit like this. If I'd known, I woulda come sooner. Baby, ya had me worried. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to ya. Listen to me, ya never gonna be alone ok? Let me help ya baby. Lemme take some of the burden ok?" When you shook your head, he smiled and continued. "I love ya baby. It's my job to help ya."

"How?"

"Come stay with me for a bit? Even if ya never leave ya room or wanna stay in bed, ya won't be alone. I'll be there to help."

"I don't-"

"Please baby. If nothing else, I'll know that yer OK. That yer not alone and sad. All by yerself thinking that no one cares. Please?"

Kuroo

It was the autumn term and you were struggling. You weren’t sure what it was about this weather that just drained you of energy, the lack of light or the cold seeping into your bones. The idea of having dark mornings and dark evenings made your mood sour and no matter what you did, it wasn’t getting any better. You knew you had work that needed doing, your to do list steadily getting bigger and your will to donit getting smaller.

You had been off school for a week now, with Kuroo away at traing camp he was none the wiser. You were able to hide your troubles from him, he would call in the evening which would he the time you got home. He was always so cheerful, face lit up with his stories about his day and games. Often you would have his teammates crash the call and hear the mayhem as he tried to wrestle the phone away from them.

Last night, Lev had stolen the phone and started complaining about being picked on. As much as you loved your boyfriend, Lev was a sweetheart and you had a huge soft spot for him. Kuroo had wrestled the phone away from him and you watched the fight ensue in the background. With so much going on, it was easy to divert the attention away from yourself, load all the focus on his team and their game today.

Glancing at the clock, you knew the team would be on their way back by now. It was the afternoon and school was still in full force, the homework from last week still on your desk and your phone full of messages from friends asking where you were. Soon you heard Kuroo's special ringtone light up your phone. He would always message you after a match and meet with you, walking you home at the end of the day while filling you in about the camp. You would pick up snacks on the way and the lounge around on the sofa watching movies together. But today? You just couldn't do it.

Kuroo was confused and worried. Not only had you not answered your phone but you weren't in your class. Your friends hadn't heard from you in a while and that wasn't like you. Dialling your number again, he waved goodbye to his teammates before making his way to your house. He was almost there, turning back at the last minute to grab your favourite flowers and food from your local shop.

Arriving at your house, he could see that the lights were off but your car was parked outside. Calling you again, he could hear your phone ring from inside the house but you made no attempt to answer it. Banging on the door, he waited and waited. Tension growing by the minute when you didn't appear.

"Kitten! I can hear your phone ringing. Answer the door."

You knew you should answer it, you phone had rang about twelve times and you had about twenty messages as well as four voicemails. Dragging yourself out of bed, you went to your window and peered out, seeing his dark hair as he bent over his phone. The image tugged at your heart, you could see his brows furrowed as he bounced on his toes. A sure sign that he was anxious and worried.

"Kitten. Open the door. I can see your shadow in the window."

You tensed as he said that, begrudgingly walking to the door and bracing yourself against it. Tears forming in your eyes as you thought about how you worried everyone, how much of a letdown you were and how unreliable.

"Baby." His voice was softer now, closer too. "Open the door. I'm worried about you. Lemme at least see you ok? If you wanna be alone afterwards, I'll leave."

Cracking the door open a few centimetres, you peered through and saw Kuroo's face. It instantly softened, you felt your eyes fill with tears as he reached across and ran his thumb under your eyes, most probably seeing the dark circles you had. Letting him push the door open further, you let him pull you into a hug. His arms wrapping securely around your body as you fell into him, his voice a low shushing in your ear and it was then that you realised you were crying. Tears tracking down your face and soaking his jersey as you stood.

"Kitten, I gotcha. I'll always be here for you. Shhh. Don't cry baby. You're breaking my heart here. Let's get you inside yeah? I bought some food and we can lounge around like always." He pulled away and a look of panic crossed his face. "If that's what you want. If not, I'll go. I don't wanna intrude or-"

"No, Tetsu. I'd love to have you here... but, I'm not in a great place. I don't wanna-"

"Baby listen, my heart is wherever you are. If you're hurting, I'm hurting too. We'll get through this together ok? Let's stay in bed, watch some movies and eat our body weight in junk. If you're feeling up to it tomorrow, we'll organise things yeah? School work. Homework. Whatever. I'm back now, you don't have to do this alone."

[thelittlepoetprincess]

ᴘᴏɪꜱᴏɴᴏᴜꜱ ʟᴏᴠᴇ [Dabi x Reader]

Author's Note: I personally am not a fan of Lizard king here but go off. This took a long ass time to write not to mention proofread and edit. No idea if I'm making another part to this. Also, a lot of this is therapy wagon material. If you want to be tagged in these just say so.

Warnings: Fluff for a bit, Implied depression, mild spoilers, light mental manipulation, degrading, power play, oral sex(F receiving), hate sex, death mentions, arson, and physical abuse.

Summary: You chose your job over Dabi, and then severely regret it once he survives.

The numbness of grief was overwhelming, even more so when the one you were grieving was your lover. You settled onto the sofa, watching the news drone on about the recent death of Villian Dabi, confirmed now to be Touya Todoroki. You'd turn off the TV and lie on your back, not needing the extraneous details of his death. After all, you killed him.

The memory of it haunted you like ghosts dancing in your memories: the heated warmth of his palms that threatened to burn you but never did, the way he always wore worn down leather or rough worn down jackets, everything about him attracted you and only made his death hit you harder.

You were a lesser-known hero with a restoration quirk, able to numb large areas and heal minor wounds while still using it in large quantities. You'd met Dabi while out on a mission to recover a kidnapped hero, and you couldn't keep your hands off his wounds. Not like he'd let you after he felt your gentle touch ease his pain for once.

Six months, it only took six months for the bad boy to entangle himself into your life. He snuck into your old apartment all the time, made you comfortable, and he'd break down in front of you. He was a surprisingly affectionate lover, despite his many flaws. You'd feel something in your throw blanket, shaking it loose to find the leather jacket he always wore.

The navy blue leather faded slightly and burnt in specific areas where he couldn't control his flames.

You felt the fresh hot tears welling up behind your eyes as you clutched the jacket to your chest. It was much larger than you since Dabi was slightly taller, so your face nuzzled into where his neck would be. It still smelled of cigarettes and burnt flesh, the scent you grew to love so much.

You took a deep inhale, the tears starting to flow as you replayed your shared memories, unable to help the grief overwhelming you. Suddenly, you had no energy nor will to do anything except sleep, even moving was deemed too much to handle. The scent of your boyfriend lulled you to sleep, though it'd be one of the last times it'd do so.

Dabi wrapped his hands around your waist before hoisting you high in the air while the wind blew at your hair in the flowy white lace dress you wore. The undetailed field of wildflowers went on far beyond your sight as he twirled you around before falling on his back with you. You'd both be laughing in the hazy daze of love before sharing a loving kiss as the gentle grass blades tickled your skin.

You felt a leathery hand touch the skin of your cheek, the thick smell of cigarette smoke tickling your nose and making you sneeze before you gently smacked away the hand. You hear a deep, raspy chuckle before the person mysteriously pulls the coat on you like a blanket.

"Little hero, do you love me?" You'd mumble a yes subconsciously, something saddeningly familiar about whoever it was looming over your sleeping form. "Ha, cute. . ." You heard something about leaving and the door shut with a click, leaving you to sleep once again.

Your peaceful sleep is dreadfully short as your friends came in, yanking you from the grasp of sleep with their tumultuous noise.

You quickly hid the jacket, sleepily rubbing at your eyes as they opened your curtains and turned on the TV. It droned on about the agency you worked at and fire. However, you didn't have the energy nor will to care since you planned on quitting anyway.

They droned on about how you'd slept for two days straight and needed to get out, and you agreed. Maybe it would take your mind off of Dabi and the arsenic incident, also the five missed calls from your agency from two days ago. You'd shower and change, pulling your hair back out of your face for the first time for days.

The curls were dry against your fingers so you oiled your hands and massaged them into the brown mass you called hair, plucking it out to its full shape. You pulled on the black and blue dress, noticing how the dress hugged your hips a bit then flowed out to your mid-thigh. Perhaps you've gained a bit of weight these past 2 months.

Tired bags were under your eyes from sleeping for so long. After some light makeup, you left with them to the carnival. 

Lights illuminated the dark navy blue sky as you got dragged about, the fun temporarily blinding you from the sadness overwhelming you. They led you into the Maze of Mirrors, their bodies contorting and bending around you confusedly while you searched for them until they disappeared. Their goofy laughter faded into an eerie silence with only your echoing footsteps left to fill the silence. You froze as you smelled a familiar scent: burnt flesh and cigarette smoke.

His chuckles were all around you as you saw the flashes of black and navy blue in the mirrors before he was suddenly standing in front of you.

He was pissed, you knew that snarky glare anywhere. It made you nervous as he closed the distance between the two of you without speaking a word until he backed you against the cold glass. He gently pressed himself against you, giving you no real way to escape him with his arms on both sides of your head. "Dabi-" "Shh, I don't wanna hear it. At least not here, too many people. They're already looking for me since I disappeared. We aren't safe, come on." He didn't ask as he hoisted you over his shoulders to carry you out the back exit.

He seemed gentle while he carried you, he wasn't rough at all. The heat you felt radiating from his palms as he held said otherwise as you worriedly fretted about him burning a hole in your clothes. Though you felt some relief knowing he wasn't dead: he was your love after all. You knew what was coming to you for feeding him arsenic wasn't going to be a gentle, loving reunion of star-crossed lovers. Dabi wasn't that kind of guy.

He made it back to your new apartment after knocking out the security guard at the gate and threw you onto the bed. He'd seemed to get angrier as he got closer to your apartment. Your hair messily fell around your face to make a curly halo around it. He was on top of you before you could attempt to sit up, his warm breath huffing down the side of your neck.

"Now what the fuck were you thinking, huh? An arsenic cupcake? You really wanna get rid of me that badly you snake." He seethed, and you felt the familiar feeling of your wrists being burnt by his flames. You cry out in pain, squirming under his grip with tears in your eyes.

"Oh you're crying, now you're crying. How do you think I felt getting sick and finding out my girlfriend poisoned me?" He'd growl out, as you stopped squirming and sucked it up. He was right, you deserved this. You tried to kill him, and all he'd done was be beside you and attempt to be somewhat of a lover to you. You looked up to him, his blue eyes lacking any gentleness or affection. It was hate, resentment, and importantly: lust.

That's when it hit you that you were a stress reliever for him. Everything that he kept pent up he always let it out on you, and for about a month now he hasn't had it. You'd reach out, gently tracing your fingers along his scars using your quirk to calm him and watch his eyes soften as he quite literally melted under your touch. He'd land on top of you, caging you underneath him with his arms, he exhaled a strained snarl before snatching your hands from his skin.

You couldn't help wincing once you felt the familiar burning sensation of Dabi's quirk in action yet again as the blue flames licked against your skin, at least it wasn't a third-degree this time.

"It was you, wasn't it? My agency, they called then it went up in flames." He didn't answer but you knew the answer by the way he buried into the side of your neck. He always did that when you accused him and he was guilty. You'd chuckle to yourself but yelp when you felt his teeth against the soft skin of your neck, suckling your skin.

You'd squirm as a familiar heat settled itself in the pit of your stomach. He huffed as he finally moved away from the purple bruise he left on your skin. His lips trailed down until he reached your exposed collarbone, chuckling before tracing his hands against your caramel skin sending chills down your spine. He'd kiss, lovingly at that, along the caramel curve of your breasts.

He'd yank you to the edge of the bed, moving between your legs with a focused look in his glimmering eyes. "Dabi, are you mad at me?" He'd chuckle before you'd feel a burn against your thighs while sinking his teeth into the soft plushness of your inner thigh. "Oh darling, I'm fucking furious." The sweet name rolled off his tongue, making you quiver when paired with his teasing licks over your soaked panties.

He paid no attention to your face, his main focus being on the slickness accumulating from your dripping hole. His hands traced up over the stretch marks gently decorating your skin so beautifully before burning off the panties, his tongue grazing the soaked slit before sliding his tongue up to your neglected clit. His mouth was warm and wet against your sensitive bud, making it grow under his expert tongue his suckling sent waves of pleasure coursing through your entire body, and core. The entire room felt hot, and it wasn't helping wherever his hands traced left heated burn trails. You'd run your fingers into hair, yanking it to where his tongue pressed against your hole. "Dabi, please I want it. . ."

"Shut it, I'm still pissed at you." He'd yank your arms away again, pressing his tongue into your hole. Your flavor flooded his tongue, making him lick and devour you hungrily. Your eyes rolled back, your hips subconsciously bucking against his tongue as it buried into your wet hole. Ecstasy, that's all you could describe the feeling at this moment. The waves of heat that swallowed you and threatened to keep you at this moment while your climax built up in that tight ball. You panted like a bitch in heat, your legs trembling as your fingers intertwined in his black hair. "Dabi, I'm. . . .I'm-!"

"Shut up, loud-ass slut. Come if you wanna come so bad!" 

He'd say before continuing to devour you, his tongue digging into your spot just enough to send you tottering over the edge in waves of heat. You'd throw your head back, sending your curls flying wildly behind you as you rode out your orgasm and Dabi's face. Your legs closed around his head like a vice, keeping his tongue in your hole while he drank you greedily. He moaned into your nether lips, finally able to pull away with an exasperated breath.

His lips and chin were a mess of your nectar and saliva, but a smirk was on his face now. He'd notice his jacket hidden poorly, but laugh as he moved to take it and pull it on. He'd once again hoist you over his shoulder, humming as he slid his fingers along the walls setting them ablaze. "Dabi-?! What are you doing?! My apartment!" "I let you have too much freedom last time, but don't worry. I'll make it so that I'm the only one you can lean on. Then you'll never leave again." 

He'd laugh as he carried you away, ignoring your cries and pleas while the building went up in flames along with everything you'd known up until now. His sick, twisted laughter filled your ears before you felt a hard force against your head, the inky blackness flooding your senses and knocking you out.

[adminbryantsaki]

A Girl like you.

A Girl like you.

Part one.

Hawks x reader

(I do not own Hawks/ Keigo Takami. Horikoshi Kohei does. This was commissioned by the lovely @undefined--person. Thanks to @nocturnalazura for helping with the grammar and proofreading. If this isn’t your cup of tea, blend of spices, or brew of coffee, move on. )

Tip jar/paypal

Commissions

Tw: Blood, angst, mentions of injury, stalking, breaking up,

Wc: 5k.

You paced your living room as you were waiting for your boyfriend Hawks to return home after his shift. He recently became the #2 Hero after All Might’s retirement which came with a big responsibility as he was being called out for more missions. You were fine with this and knew what you signed up for when the two of you first started dating about a year ago. You noticed that your sleep schedule was slightly off since you were staying up late at night waiting for Keigo to come home safe. Some nights he would be coming home when the sun was coming up, others he would only be gone for an hour or two.

Recently, you noticed how the fame and him being on the news had been getting to him and going to his head. He had begun to prioritize whatever big showy villain that had been appearing in the news over you. He also began to sneak off at night after he thought you had gone to sleep. He also would make random trips to the nearby store asking if you wanted something while he was gone. He also began to forget about important date nights or weekends that the two of you had planned. After weeks of putting up with this, you decided that tonight you were going to confront him about it. You heard something land on your balcony and your back door slide open. You stopped your pacing and folded your arms across your chest and stared at your boyfriend as he entered your home.

“Oh, Hey, baby bird. I didn’t think you’d be staying up for me. I would’ve messaged you to tell you that I was going to be late tonight.” He chuckled as he closed the door behind him and walked to you to give you a hug and a kiss. You pushed him away.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he was a little hurt that you pushed him away. You took a deep breath and cut straight to the point.

“Why have you been sneaking off at night? Also, you have been forgetting special date nights. You forgot our One-year anniversary! Am I that boring to you now that you’ve decided to delve yourself into your work?” You asked him then and there with your voice wavering and tears threatening to fall from your face.

“Listen, I’ve been busy as I’m the #2 Hero now. I want to protect people from villains that seem to be popping up like weeds recently and I want to spend time with you. But how can the world be safe unless I’m there to help keep the villains from wrecking the city? I also have to keep up my reputation and if I don’t keep taking down villains, that might affect my income from the Commission.” He explained. That made your heart break into a million pieces.

“That doesn’t mean that you have to shove me to the side and keep going to the spotlight just so then you can have more money. Can’t you ignore the calls once in a while?” You asked him as you felt hot tears stream down your cheeks, and you pushed him away again.

“You know I can’t do that!” He spoke in a raised tone which made you cower in front of him as he raised and flared his wings at you. He saw you cowering in front of him, and he lowered his wings. He tried to reach for you to apologize and comfort you, but you smacked his hands away.

“Get out.” You told him. He looked more hurt as he backed away from you. He went out onto the balcony and took off. You fell to your knees bawling your eyes out. You let your tears dry before you called a friend asking if you could stay at their house for a few days since things weren’t going well with you and Hawks. You went to your room and packed a bag with some essentials that you would need while you were gone. You then left the apartment and drove over to your friend’s house where you crashed on the spare bed your friend had and slept the rest of the night.

§§§§§

You woke up the next morning to a dozen missed calls and text messages from Hawks wondering where you were. You decided to ignore him and go about your day. You had breakfast and showered before you went to work. Your phone continued to be spammed with messages from your boyfriend. On your break, you decided to call him back and tell him that you were fine and you needed some space from him for a while.

“How long will a while be? I miss having you around the house.” His voice sounded from the other side. He sounded like he had been crying and had gotten drunk too. You frowned since you thought that he stopped drinking when the two of you got serious. You let tears run down your face.

“I don’t know how long it will be. I need my space.” You responded and ended the call. You set your phone down on the nearby table and cried again. He was too needy and you guessed that he only wanted you around for appearances and to keep up his image to keep the media from putting him in a bad light.

Little did you know that he was keeping a big secret from you.

About a week or so later, you moved back to your apartment and had your friend help you gather up Keigo’s things and put them outside your building near the trash can. Your friend left your apartment after his things were put near the trash and you had just enough energy to make yourself dinner and shower.

As you were sitting in front of your television eating dinner, your phone rang again. You sighed in annoyance and picked your phone up. It was your friend.

“I don’t know what you’re doing but turn on the news.” They spoke. You reached for your remote and switched the channel to the news. The news was showing Hawks fighting a large group of villains that seemed to be at the advantage point. You watched as he dived and sent out feathers from his wings to pin the villains to the ground. He looked bruised and beaten up. You didn’t know if you should be upset or not even care that the man that you thought you loved was fighting against a large group of villains on his own. You sat forward in your seat and watched the screen before you. He was eventually thrown into the ground and knocked out. That is when you turned the device off and sat back on your couch.

“Y/n? Are you alright?” You thought you heard your friend say from your phone that you had set down when you turned the news on. You held your head in your hands.

“I’ll be fine. I don’t know if I should be going to the hospital or staying here. I want to go be by his side but I also don’t want to give him or the media what they want.” You responded to your friend.

“Just stay where you are and keep watching the news. I’ll stay here on the phone with you.” Your friend told you. You trembled where you sat and turned the television back on. You saw that Hawks was now being loaded into an ambulance on a stretcher. He looked bloodied and beaten up. You let the tears fall down your face as you watched the scene play out on the screen. You felt frozen to your couch, paralyzed by seeing the one that you loved being carted off to the hospital. You stood up and went into your bedroom to get changed. You were going to the hospital. A tiny part of you still cared about him. You couldn’t deny it. You were sure about it. You walked out of your bedroom and to the couch where your phone still laid on the call with your friend.

“I’m going to the hospital. A tiny part of me still cares for him.” You spoke.

“If you say so. Be safe, Y/n. Call be back with details later, ok?” They spoke. You agreed and hung up before you left your apartment and drove to the hospital. You parked your car and ran into the hospital. You asked the front desk what room Hawks was in and you were told that he was in surgery. You were guided to a waiting area that seemed void of people. You sat alone and texted your friend what was going on. You looked around the room before you focused on the nearby television and listened to the news as it wrapped up the incident of the group of villains attacking and Hawks being the only one that fought them. The screen showed recaps of him fighting the villains and how he didn’t let any other heroes help him and how one of the heroes called to Hawks saying that doing this battle alone was a suicide mission and that he needed help. Hawks ignored them and was now in a critical condition and in surgery.

Your focus was broken when someone with dark hair and a hood up that covered their face entered the room and walked past your line of vision. The person sat in the chair next to you and you swore the scent of burnt flesh and smoke filled your nose.

“So, you here waiting for the #2 Hero Hawks to come out of surgery? The nurses typically don’t let just anyone come into the waiting room for Pro heroes to be in recovery so they can be by their side. You must be his main squeeze. The one he takes to fancy events and show up in front of the media when he goes to a press conference.” The person spoke in a raspy voice. You stared at them confused and a little weirded out. You moved to go to a different seat but the person’s hand grabbed onto your arm.

“I believe it would be best that you stay where you are, doll. You and I need to have a little chat.” The person said in a firm tone. You sat back down and person’s hand moved off your arm.

“Have you noticed that Hawks has been leaving you absent more often? Divulging himself into his job and sneaking off when he thinks you’ve gone asleep? Well, honey, I’m one of those reasons why he’s been going off at random times. He doesn’t love you anymore. He doesn’t even like women. He only puts up that façade for the media. He’s been cheating you. I’m his true love. We’ve known each other since we were little kids so our bond is stronger than anything you think you’ll have with him. Now, I suggest you go home and don’t even think of contacting him again or I will find you and burn everything you love to the ground.” The person said.

You[jF1] turned to the person with wide eyes and noticed the surgical staples and pattern of burnt skin and the piercing blue eyes. This was the villain known as Dabi. Your mind raced with thoughts as you stood up and began to exit the hospital with tears streaming from your face. Some of the staff tried to stop you but you just wanted to get out of there. You went to the car and sat in the safety of the driver’s seat with tears streaming down your cheeks. You hiccupped and your crying turned into sobs that racked your whole body. How could he use you like that? He was cheating on you and not just with another woman but a man? You never picked up any hints from him that he didn’t like you. You just though because he became the #2 Hero that he was busier capturing villains and making the world a better place. The idea that he had been cheating on you did cross your mind. The encounter with Dabi confirmed it.

You waited for your tears to dry before you went back into the hospital and asked if Hawks was out of surgery yet. The nurse told you that he was and gave you his room number. You were a woman with determination as you made your way to the room where the hero lay now healing from the injuries he sustained in battle. You opened the door and sat quietly in a chair in the room to wait for Hawks to wake up. The wait wasn’t long as a few minutes later Keigo opened his eyes and looked at you.

“Hey, baby bird.” He said weakly. You laughed.

“Don’t “baby bird” me. You lying, cheating scumbag!” You told him. He sat up a bit and looked at you confused.

“What do you mean? What have I done wrong!?” He asked you.

“You were sneaking out at night to go get screwed or screw with a man! A man that’s a villain too!” You responded.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He told you.

“Don’t lie. I met him downstairs while I was waiting for you to get out of surgery. He smells of burnt flesh and smoke. He also has surgical staples keeping his skin together. Does that sound familiar?” You spoke with a hint of venom in your voice. Hawk’s eyes widened and he laid back on the hospital bed.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” You asked as you stood up from your chair. Hawks looked to you and sighed.

“Its not what you think. The commission asked me to infiltrate the League to gather more information. I might’ve slept with one or two of them to get leverage and gain their trust. But you, my love, are my one and only person that I’d love until the end of time.” He told you truthfully. You didn’t know if you should believe him or not.

“Keigo… We’re over. Feel free to go to where ever it is the villains are hiding when you’re discharged. I don’t want to see you for a while. I need my own space.” You spoke as your voice cracked and your heart sank to your stomach.

“Then leave.” He told you as he stared deadpan at the ceiling. You could feel your heart breaking. You backed out of the room and left the hospital.

You drove home and closed the door behind you and sunk to the floor feeling horrible and sad. You went to your freezer and pulled out a pint of ice cream, got into your pjs and proceeded to eat said ice cream in front of your tv. A few hours passed and your phone buzzed with a text from your friend asking if you were ok. You texted them that you and Hawks broke up. Your friend responded saying that they will be over with some pizza and more ice cream in about half an hour. You unlocked your door before you went to your room and laid on your bed to stare at the ceiling. You heard your door unlock and your friend call out to let you know that it was them. You watched from your room as they set the food on the counter and look for you. They kneeled down and made sure you weren’t going to do anything drastic and have you end up in the hospital. You told them that you wouldn’t and they hugged you before they left you alone to wallow about your loss. You ate some of the pizza and some more ice cream before you took a shower and went to bed.

You woke up the next morning and it was a struggle to pull yourself out of bed and get yourself dressed. You called in to work to tell them that you needed a few days off to only have your boss tell you that you could take as much time as you needed and to come back to work when you were ready. You were relieved then called your parents asking if you could come back home for a while. They asked why and you told them that you didn’t want to talk about it right then but you just needed to come home for a while and get away from the city. They agreed and asked when you’d be coming over. You told them that you’d be over this afternoon. They were excited that you’d be coming so soon and they would have their guest bedroom ready for you. You hung up with them and packed your bags. You locked up your apartment and left.

As you drove to your parent’s house, you listened to the news as heard that Hawks had been discharged from the hospital and was now spending time recovering in his home. You rolled your eyes and kept driving. You didn’t notice that Hawks was in a car following you.

§§§§§

You pulled into the driveway of your parent’s two-story log cabin that you remember them building just after you moved out. You exited your car as your parents came down the driveway and greeted you. They helped you carry your bags inside and help you get settled. Little did you know that Hawks had kept following you until your mom spoke up.

“Honey, do you know that vehicle?” Your mom spoke and gestured to the dark car that had been following you since the city.

“No. I don’t.” You responded as the car parked and the passenger side door opened and the last person, you’d expect to have seen exited the car.

“Y/n! It’s so glad to see you! I haven’t seen you since I was in the hospital.” Hawks spoke. It had only been a day. You told him you needed your space and he just violated that by following you out here. He followed you out to the place you thought you could get away from him and readjust your life and move on from him. But no, this sick fucker had to follow you like a little lost puppy.

“Mom, Dad, this is Hawks. You two know him as the #2 Hero. I know him as my Ex-boyfriend and a dirty cheating scumbag.” You told your parents. Your mom guided you inside while your father stepped forward to confront Hawks.

“Why don’t you and I take a little walk.” Your dad told Hawks as he guided him away from you. Your mom helped you get your bags inside and heated some water for tea. You sat on the bed as your mind raced. How did he get out of the hospital after one day? Was he that desperate to get back with you? You had told him that you needed space. Was he really that selfish? You shook the thoughts off and busied yourself by unpacking your bags and trying to get settled. Your mom came in with a hot cup of tea to help settle your nerves.

“Y/n, honey? Tea is ready. Why don’t we sit down and you can tell me what’s going on?” She suggested. You nodded and followed her out to the kitchen table where You unfolded the events that had happened over the past day and a half. As you were telling her what happened, you began to choke up and tears fall from your face. Your mother pulled you into a comforting hug just as Hawks came through the door.

“Y/N! PLEASE! I’M SORRY FOR WHAT I’VE DONE. I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON YOU.” He exclaimed. You looked at him and was absolutely disgusted. You stood up and approached him.

“I am absolutely disgusted with you. You violated my space by following me out here! I want you to leave and I never want to see you again!” You yelled at him. Hawks, looking hurt, walked to the door, turned back to see your hurt and angry expression then he closed the door behind him. You sat back down in the chair next to your mom and you covered your mouth and let more tears stream from your eyes. Your dad put a hand on your back as sobs wracked through your body.

“You can stay here for as long as you need to, Y/n. You’re safe here from him.” You heard your dad tell you.

“I just want to go lay down.” You spoke as you stood shakily. Your mom helped you to your room where you laid down under your blanket and passed out.

You woke up again around dinner time and you groggily left your bedroom and went to the kitchen where your mom was finishing up your favorite comfort food.

“Hi honey, did you sleep well?” Your mom asked as you went to the kettle to make a cup of hot cocoa.

“Yes, I did, thank you for asking.”

“I’m glad you slept well, dear. Can you set the table please? Dinner is almost ready.” She said as you took a sip of your cocoa. You got plates down and silverware out and set the table. Your mom put hot pans and bowls on top of potholders on the table. You felt at home as the smells of your favorite dishes filled your nose. You said grace before you dug into the food and ate your fill. Your mom brought out some of your favorite dessert and let you have some while the three of you settled down to watch a movie. After the movie was over, you went to bed and slept.

§§§§§

You stayed for the next week taking care of yourself. You contacted your work and was able to work from your parent’s cabin. After the weekend passed, your dad drove you home and made sure you were ok and that you had a means to defend yourself incase Hawks came back. You assured your dad that you were fine, and you had a couple people to call in case things did go south. Your dad helped you carry your bags up to your apartment door and hugged you goodbye. You watched as your dad walked down the steps and turned the corner where his truck was before you unlocked the door of your apartment and stepped inside. Your eyes widened as you saw the absolute chaos that was your apartment. Your lamp was broken, your couch was ripped up and your coffee table was smashed down the middle. You covered your mouth and stepped inside your home… or what was once your home. The place that you thought that you could seek comfort was ruined. There were streaks of what you thought was blood and several familiar crimson feathers either laying on the ground or stabbed into your wall or appliance. You got to your bedroom, and you saw a message painted on the wall in blood. You froze in your tracks and read the message.

“Stay away from him! He’s mine and you’ll never have a chance with him!” You read. You cried and fell to your knees and cried again. You were done and tired of this. You wanted this chaos to be over and done with. You picked up your phone and scrolled through your contacts and found Hawks. You hesitated before you clicked the button to call him. You held the phone to your ear as it rang. He answered.

“Y/n? What’s up?” He asked.

“S-someone… b-broke into my apartment. Was it you? Your feathers are here and there’s a lot of blood.” You said with a wavering tone. You didn’t hear your closet door opening as Hawks was consoling you over the phone.

“Y/n. I wasn’t there. Someone must’ve found fake feathers that match mine. Get out of there. The person that did this is probably still around. I’ll be over as soon as I can, Ok?” You heard him say as something loomed over you. Your eyes went wide as you turned around slowly to see that man from the hospital.

“Y/n?! Answer me please!” Hawks yelled into his phone as you went quiet.

“He’s here.” You said quietly. “GET UP AND RUN!” He yelled into the receiver. You registered what he had told you to do but you were frozen in place. The man from the hospital bent down and put a bloodstained finger under your chin.

“I wondered where you were, Y/n. Didn’t think it would take you so long to come home to see my message.” He spoke. The intense scent of burnt skin and now whiskey on his breath along with the ashen smell of cigarettes filled your nose. You remained frozen as the man remained hovered over you. He grabbed you by the throat and slammed you against the wall.

“Go ahead and suffer.” He croaked out as you felt a warming sensation on your neck. You clawed at his hand and beat on his arm with your fists, but he didn’t let up. Your eyes glanced over to your bedroom window where you saw some scarlet feathers break through the glass and stab through the coat of the villain and pin him against the wall. Hawks swooped in and picked you up.

“I’m here baby. I’m going to get you out of here. I’m taking you to the hospital where they can check you out and make sure you’re not injured.” You heard him say. You clung to his jacket and hid your face in his neck. He held onto you and flew to the nearby hospital where he had you taken care of. He never left your side the entire time he was there holding your hand as the doctors took scans and tests and treated your neck for any minor burns. You felt broken on the inside. You couldn’t take anymore of this drama and stress. You remembered what you had told Hawks only a week ago that you never wanted to see him ever again. But there he was, sticking by your side even when you absolutely hated his guts. Did he still care for you? You didn’t know right then but you knew that you wanted to sleep. The doctors said that you should get your rest and you let your eyes flutter closed.

§§§§§

You woke up a couple hours later to see Keigo slumped in a chair asleep. You smiled softly to yourself before speaking up.

“Hey, sleepy bird.” You said just loud enough that he could hear you. He woke up and smiled. “Nice to see that you’re awake. The doctor said that they want to keep you overnight just incase anything goes bad. Then you should be able to go home tomorrow. Or someplace where you can be safe. I’d offer for you to come to my place, but I know that you and I aren’t on the best of terms right now.” He told you. You looked at him and kept your hand to yourself even though you wanted to hold his hand and pull him close to you and tell him that everything was going to be fine. But it wasn’t. You needed to be away from him and all the media and hype That had overwhelmed your life.

“Hawks, Keigo, I need some space for a while. I mean more than a day. I need an undefined amount of time away from you. Everything that has happened, you cheating on me, you following me to my parent’s cabin, my apartment… I can’t do it anymore. I need a break from you and all the things that come with you.” You told him. He backed away from the bed, nodding slowly until he was leaning against the wall and staring at the mundane pattern of the tiles on the floor.

“So… it is true… we’re over?” His words hung in the air for a few moments. The expression on his face told you that his heart was breaking. But you didn’t think it was genuine. You could feel your heart shattering into a million pieces.

“Yes, Keigo. We’re over.” You spoke. The hero pushed off from the wall and grabbed his coat and bag before leaving your room without another word. You let your tears run down your face as one of the nurses came into the room and checked on you to make sure you were ok. You told them that you had broken things off with your boyfriend and they nodded. They stayed with you and asked if there was anyone, they could call for you and you nodded. You told them about your friend that lived in the city and that you would need to talk with them. The nurse got your phone and handed it to you. You dialed your friend and the two of you talked over your living situation. Your friend agreed to let you come live with them while you recuperated. They said that they would be there in after their shift at work to pick you up an bring you home. You felt a little bit relieved that you had a place to go home. You let yourself fall back asleep and drift off into the land of dreams.

§§§§§

You woke up the next morning and the doctor gave you a last check up to make sure your vocal cords were undamaged. They gave you a clean bill of health and you were wheeled down to the pickup area where your friend was waiting for you in their car. They helped you into the car where there was a couple bags of your things and your suitcases that had remained unpacked from your vacation. When your friend parked in the parking garage of their apartment, you got a message from Hawks saying:

“I thought over some things, and we need to talk, alone.”

End part one.

[oftenderweapons]

Stress Reliever - Yoongi

Pairing: Yoongi x reader (nicknamed Kitten)

Wordcount: 3.7k words

Genre: fluff, smut, angst 

Rating: 18+

Yeah! It’s Yoongi time! 

What would he do to relieve some stress with you? Let go of his temper? I’ll cut this short and go straight to trigger warnings.

TRIGGER WARNING: unprotected sex within an established relationship (please y’all, I love you, be careful), mentions of quickie(s), grinding and making out, BDSM relationship, enough pent up pressure to power a small city, breaking of rules and disobedience, masturbation, sending nudes/sexy vocal texts/sexting, mild bondage, punishment, heavy marking (bites and hickeys), tits worship, choking kink, mild spit play, mentions of blindfolds and cocksleeve, mild degradation kink, outright hammering, yoongi feat. oral fixation except his mouth goes everywhere except near your pussy (it’s a punishment, bish, no way he’ll pleasure you with that technology of his). Mild angst because yeah, master’s not happy you went against the rules. 

Here is my masterlist! ENJOY!

--------------------------------

Yoongi wakes up heavily, trying to switch off the alarm not to disturb you. Today you could finally rest after your boss had called you in to work even during the weekend, due to the important partnership you had to plan and secure. Since your part of the work was now over, you had been given a couple days to rest before dedicating yourself entirely to the new collaboration. 

As you felt him move beside you, you latched onto him, your limbs clinging around him, lips searching for his neck. No way you could let go of his body heat. 

“Come on, baby, just one more day and then I have a free week.” September was almost over and his summer schedule left him some spare time before the group began planning their winter activities. 

You moaned, kissing his breastbone through his loose undershirt, his hand combing the hair on your nape, holding your head close as he tried to remove the leg you had thrown over his hips. He caressed the back of your thigh, his hand stretching over the soft of your glute. 

“Don’t go.” Your lips tried something more convincing, peppering small kisses over the pale skin of his neck and jaw.

He groaned loudly, his gravelly morning voice making your insides quiver. Smiling slightly as you saw him hesitate, you pressed your belly to his crotch, hoping that the warmth of your body and the comfort of the bed could convince him to stay long enough for a morning quickie, making him get ready in a rush and leave the house still slightly dazed with the orgasm -- or orgasms -- and the fretting.

“I love you.” He murmured, kissing your head and caressing your back, almost pushing back into you, both your hips and his slipping into the natural pace you had learnt a couple weeks after you had started dating. He made it feel too easy. 

“But I really have to go, kitten.” He groaned, using your small victory against you: you had loosened your grip on him, thinking you had won him over, but at your first distraction, he was already climbing out of bed, stumbling a little before entering the bathroom. 

Your loud whine echoed in the room, your legs now helplessly caught in the sheets. “Don’t tease, kitten.” He called from the bathroom. 

You let out a childish grumble, but then turned on the other side, as he exited the bathroom, selecting his outfit for the day and bending over the bed. 

“Are you upset, kitten?” He asked, caressing your hair. 

You just turned and closed your eyes. His mean snicker made you even more resentful. Heading for the kitchen, you heard him making some coffee, then proceeding to preparing breakfast. Not like you intended to get up. 

Twenty minutes later he entered your room again, leaning over you. “I left you some food in the kitchen. Coffee is ready and still warm.” He kissed your cheek, at which you grimaced almost imperceptibly. “Quit it, kitten. I’ll be back tonight. And from midnight on, I’m all yours for a week.”  

“I hate you.” You murmured, only half convinced. 

“We both know you don’t.” He kissed you again, and this time you held his hand. “Because I love you. And you love me too.” He caressed your face. “And I promise tonight I’m gonna spoil you, so be patient, yes kitten?” 

You opened your eyes, putting your best dollface on. 

“There she is.” He smiled big, the softest expression making your heart melt all over your chest. “Can you do that for me? Be patient for me?” He crooned.

You nodded.

“Good girl.” He freed his hand, smiling at you more softly. “Wish me good day.”

“Have a nice day.” You mumbled, trying to hide your pout. 

“You too, kitten.” And with that he left for the day. 

You turned around and fell asleep once more. Unfortunately, the oneiric version of you still remembered all the lost possibilities of earlier that morning and your imagination didn’t hold back at all. 

You woke up frustrated, needy and alone, your midday nap ruined. There was no use in trying to stay in bed, so you got up and hit the shower. Brushing off your sweat, you dedicated some time to self care, feeling like a queen by the time you were done, and while laying on the bed after your beauty routine, you noticed your reflection, your self esteem surging at your fresh looks. 

Would a selfie hurt? 

After pondering it a little, you grabbed your phone and took a few pictures, a mischievous intent awakening in your brain. You uncovered your chest slightly, Yoongi’s mark appearing on the soft curve of your breast. 

Licking your lips, with an innocent look in your eyes, you pressed the button and, happy with the black and white filter, you breathed out and hit send. 

“Do you think it’s fading?” You wrote this as a caption.

You casually scrolled through your social media, naked on the bed as you waited for his reply. 

You didn’t have to wait much. 

“For fuck’s sake. I can’t even come home for lunch, busy.” A few seconds later. “I’m touching it up tonight.”

Excitement filled your veins. “Please do.” You texted back. 

“You can count on it, baby.” He wasn’t the type to double text. Not twice in a row. So you were quite surprised when another bubble appeared. “Don't get started without me.”

A reminder and a warning. And, against your better judgement, your rebellious streak started tiptoeing around it, deciding that he was already turned on, so you might as well make him frustrated and turned on. 

One hand heading south, your grin devilish, you felt the wetness at the apex of your thighs, pooling there at the intended meaning of his texts. It didn’t take long for your mouth to open in a sigh, chest heaving at the pleasure you could conjure yourself alone. Your spare hand, once on your sensitive nipple, was now searching for your phone, lost somewhere in the sheets.

On the brink of your climax you pressed the button for the vocal text, hoping that the wet sound of your folds would somehow get caught in the recording. "I'm so sorry I couldn't wait, I've tried to be good, but I dreamt of you and you were so hot, Yoongi, and I kept thinking of your mouth on me, I'm so, so sorry, I swear I'll be the best girl tonight, please--" and with a final whimper you felt your body come apart, a desperate squeal surging from your lips. You rode out your high, hips bouncing on the mattress with the power of your thrusts. Once your breathing subsided, you stopped the recording and without thinking twice you let it send. 

You let the phone fall, laughing hysterically when you thought about what you've just done. No amount of behaving and grovelling could fix your most recent infraction and, interrupting your train of thought you headed for the bathroom, cleaning up before getting dressed and entering the kitchen to make yourself some lunch. 

In the process you ignored your phone, left in silent mode on the bed, missing a text from your Yoongi and a call. 

You were in for trouble. 

The afternoon was pretty uneventful, you finished a book that had been laying on your coffee table for a while, then you watched some episodes of a series you had forgotten you had started, and that's probably because it was so boring and filled with useless drama that you fell asleep on the couch. You woke up with the sound of the lock of the apartment, weak light coming in from the window. You had probably - unsurprisingly - slept till dinner. 

You heard Yoongi's voice calling your name from the entrance. "Come here."

You had seriously underestimated the trouble you were in. 

Mumbling from the couch, you sat up, feet heavy and brain still reconnecting to reality. 

He stood in the doorway to the sitting room, his face absolutely neutral. “Is that why you didn’t answer my calls? You were sleeping off your orgasm?” He licked his lips. “I had told you to wait.” His hands were propped on his hips while he stared down at you. 

“I tried to wait but I wanted you too much.” You said, voice tiny, knowing all too well that you had made a mistake. 

“Did you want me or did you want to cum?” He asked, his expression stern. 

“I was turned on because I had dreamt of you.” You admitted, hoping that being well-behaved could save you from the worst of his fury.

“And what did you dream?” He asked.

You looked him in the eye, “I dreamt of you licking me.”

“Was I only licking you? Where was I licking?” The intensity of his eyes burnt through you.

“You were sucking hickeys on me, using your hand between my legs, then fucking me with your mouth.” You described, cheeks blushing.

“That’s a lot more specific. And was I good in your dream?” He questioned. 

“You are always so good to me, Yoongi.” You batted your lashes at him, speaking with that soft voice he loves so much.

“So, did you cum in your dreams?”

You shook your head. “I woke up.”

He snickered. “Such a disgrace.” He brought his fingers to his belt, undoing it very slowly. “So much useless training.” He unlooped the accessory, folding it in two and stretching it between his hands. “Come here.”

You obeyed with a deeply apologetic expression on your face. 

“Kneel.” He ordered. 

Once more you carried out his command. 

“Your hands.” He said, and you offered them to him, slightly parted. With skilled fingers he placed his belt around your forearms, using it as some sort of leash around your wrists. 

“Good. Now you will walk to the bedroom on your knees, hands bound. You'd better keep the pace.” At that he took the first step, wide and slightly impatient. You soon realised it took three knee steps to make up for one of his full ones. You were actually fretting after him and by the time you reached the bedroom you were sweaty and short of breath. 

“Well, looks like your training is not lacking. Maybe it’s just your manners. Let me help you understand.” In the meantime he undid the belt, two deep dwells appearing on the skin it had encompassed, but nothing drastic, since he hadn’t pulled that bad. 

“You have sent me a picture of you, naked, reminding how much I always miss your soft breasts and how bad I need to mark you up. Then, after I explicitly told you not to, not only you touched yourself, but you also sent me a recording of how good you sound when you cum, of how wet your cunt gets when you think of me.”

You mewl as he takes off your shirt, you still kneeling on the floor. 

“And to top it all, you didn’t reply to my text or my calls, leaving me frustrated and so fucking horny all afternoon.” He commanded you up with a sign of his hand. Now a few inches taller than you, he looked you in your face. “And I had to listen to that through my earphones, during lunch with the boys. Do you know how embarrassing it was to get a hard on like a stupid teenager? And my friends were there, worried for me, asking what had happened.” He looked livid, tonguing his cheek and clenching his jaw. His voice was so low and husky you could cum of the sound of him alone.

He grabbed your face with his hand, squeezing your pout between your squished cheeks, the pose usually cute, but now absolutely indecent. “My sexy little girlfriend, that’s what happened. Making me frustrated and angry at lunch so I can come home all furious and fuck her till she begs.”

You nodded at that, your eyes imploring him. 

“I think Hobi even heard you. After all he was sitting so close to me.” He muttered. “Did you want him to hear? Want him to know how wet I make you, how needy you are for me? Did you want me to play it without my earphones so everyone could ear?”

You shook your head. “No, Yoongi.”

“That’s right. Because you’re mine and I’m the only one who can get you desperate like that.” He smiled at you, now with some fondness. 

“This will teach you to think twice before you hit send. Unless you’re comfortable with anyone possibly hearing and seeing you on my phone. And since no one should hear you and touch you and see you and taste you but me, let’s remind you who you belong to, uh?” He threw you over the bed. “Silly girls like you tend to forget their lessons.”

Half a minute later your hands were secured over your head with an old bandana of his, the bright red fabric contrasting with your skin. 

“First thing, we should touch up my mark, yes?” He waited for confirmation.

“Please Yoongi, show me I’m yours.” You cried out, your mouth trying to reach him. 

He mercifully bent down to your lips, only to bite the tip of your tongue before sucking on it a little. “You’re so hungry for me, it’s almost like you didn’t get yourself off.”

“It was a mistake. I don’t even know why I did that, it wasn’t you.” You begged.

“Well, big girls pay the consequences for their actions.” And with that he licked down your neck leaving a trail of saliva before his front teeth settled against your collarbone. 

“You dreamt of my mouth, yes?”

You nodded impatiently. 

“Than that’s what I’m gonna give you.” His hand connected with yours, still looking for that small sign of intimacy between the two of you, that secret language of yours made of intertwined fingers and nails scraping against palms. 

His mouth searched the soft flesh at the base of your throat and started sucking there, the skin bruising easily. Your legs crossed behind his back, pressing upwards to gain some friction.

“Do you want my cock?” He teased, licking up the mark he’d just imprinted on you.

“Please, Yoongi.” You mumbled, grinding into his lap. 

“So ready.” He sucked another mark into you. “But you’ll have to wait.” He kissed between your collarbones, slowly descending towards your breastbone. “Let’s get rid of this bra first.”

His hand reached behind your back, unclasping the black cotton bra, grinning devilishly as your breasts slipped out and your nipples perked up. Noticing your tied wrists he mulled over what to do, settling for pushing the garment all the way up along your arms, leaving it tangled in the bandana. 

“Keep your hands still, baby, I’m gonna feast on you.” At that, he pushed your breasts together, licking the crevasse there, finding his favourite spot. His body was kneeling between your parted legs while his strong hands began kneading your flesh aggressively. Mesmerized by the softness of your skin, he started nibbling on it, breaking the blood vessels blooming there, suckling while looking at your blissful expression, your eyes just barely open to enjoy the way his lovely, perfect lips parted and made love to the luscious swell of your bosom.

His mouth moved to the side, capturing a nipple and tonguing it artfully, his teeth trapping it while his tongue dragged it up and down. When he combined it with the bobbing of his head, your moans became high pitched squeals, the pleasure so intense you could come apart from it alone. 

“You liking it?” He provoked you, his arrogant demeanour matching his cocky smirk, his breath fanning over your wet nipple. 

“I like it so much, Yoongi, please let my hands go.” You were literally praying him, your lower lip shaking with exasperation.

“Oh no, ____. You’ll keep your hands put, so you’ll learn that if I tell you not to touch yourself, you don’t put a fucking finger on this pussy.” He sat up straight, his hands dragging both your sweats and panties off. Your scent hit him immediately, his body so accustomed to your every small tell. With your body now finally naked and at his mercy, he let his eyes roam freely as you pushed your breasts up, back arching, legs clenching for the tiniest sense of relief. 

“That’s my kitten. You look like sin.” Standing at the side of the bed, he dragged the tip of his middle finger deliriously slowly from your toe to your neck, his fingers pressing at the thick veins at the base. After a couple seconds you were already dizzy, your brain too fuzzy to notice him sitting beside you on the bed, his spare hand fooling around your hip-bone, raising goosebumps on its wake. His naughty hand reached your navel. 

“Are you ready, sweet thing?” he licked once more at your breast, the hand at your neck losing some pressure. He knew all too well when it got too much. He kissed your shoulder, devotedly. “Are you ready, ____?”

You nodded, wailing in desire.

“That’s it.” His finger reached your clit without hesitation, your eyes opening wide, searching for his. He didn’t disappoint, meeting your stare from below you, still latched onto your breast, the one he hadn’t had the chance of fondling earlier. 

After a couple strokes, marvelling at your wetness he added another finger, slipping them inside you. “Were your fingers this good?” He asked, encompassing your areola in a bite.

Again, you whined in surprise, shaking your head. The gesture reminded you of the grip on your neck, causing his fingers to tighten there. “No, Yoongi. I’m sorry. You know it.”

“I know it. I do.” His pattern changed, now fingering you in a come hither motion. 

“But since you’ve already had your hand on you today, and you had my mouth in your dreams, I might as well get my own fun.”

“Yoongi please, I’ll do anything you want, please, my hands…” He laughed sadistically, then he undid his button and fly. He found it hot, having you naked, at his mercy right before him, while he was fully dressed, nothing but the necessary parts uncovered. 

Some part of him wanted the nearness, the fond sensuality of skin against skin, but remembering the burn of embarrassment at lunch made his fingers quicken and his temper flare. 

“If you touch me, just once, I’ll twist you around, tie you up, and blindfold you. And then I’ll use that nasty toy you hate so much to make myself cum all over you. Understood.”

“Yes, Yoongi.” You replied, almost too fucked out to give him coherent words.

“Good.” The delicate knot came undone in seconds, his face resting temptingly close to yours. “You sure you don’t wanna grab my face, kitten?”

A fucking demon. As you shook your head no, he grinned darkly and slid in, bottoming out in one brutal motion.

Your hands gripped the pillowcase so hard that the joints of your fingers popped. You knew how easy it would be for you to reach for him, probably it would have been better if your hands had stayed tied, but you hoped he would reward you for your hard work and willingly increased effort. 

“You all right, kitten?” He asked, breath laboured. 

“I just need you to move, Yoongi, please.” You circled your hips, his groan ricocheting from his chest. 

“Imma latch on your pretty neck, baby. You’ll still have a collar by the time I send you back to work.” He briefly kissed your mouth. “You good with that, baby?”

“Yoongs, anything please.”

One more laugh and his mouth peppered butterfly kisses along the column of your throat, his mouth at your ear. “Enjoy, ‘cause it’s gonna be one hell of a ride.”

At that he started hammering into you, his hands propping himself up, shifting to his elbows quickly as he willingly searched for your wrists.

“I wanna hear you mewl, kitten.” He encouraged you, shortly before settling his teeth at the base of your throat.

“Yoongi, yes.” He started sucking, unbothered, his hips shifting to let his pubic bone drag against your clit. 

“Wanna wrap my legs around you.” You murmured. 

He let go of one of your hands, placing his palm on your knee and picking it up, encouraging you to hold him like that. 

The change in angle made him growl in relief, his hips even faster. “Imma take it home, yeah?”

He was going so hard you felt tipsy, so when he rose, his back arched, one hand balancing him up, the other coiling around your neck once more, you felt ready to leave your body. 

“Show me how you came this morning, kitten, show me what I missed.” He slowed down his thrusts, waiting for you to comply. 

You lowered your arm slowly, fingers aching to caress his balls, but dutifully landing on your clit, your lips parting in a loud cry. 

“Yes, kitten. Give me your other hand.” You were mildly suspicious and the hand at your throat was making you wonder whether you were imagining things. He snickered, grunting in effort, “want to suck on those dirty fingers. Give me your free hand, love.”

Fingers dripping in his spit, latched on his lower teeth, trapped between his lips, you felt his hips snap, the devastating mix of sensations triggering your orgasm, eyes rolling back and vision going blank, not even bothering to make a sound. 

His mouth opened in a silent cry, hips losing their pattern, his weight now propped on his elbow, hand free to grip your hair while his fingerstips slid up and down gently against your throat. When the frenzy dissipated, his high subsiding, he collapsed on you, thoroughly exhausted. Your heaving chest pillowed his head, his breathing making your new marks sizzle with the sudden fresh air. With the little energy left, he removed the hand still protecting your overly sensitive clit, brushing it against the place where your bodies joined, making sure it caught both your tastes before bringing it to his mouth, licking at it in some absolutely classy, although obscene, way. 

“So good, kitten.” He praised. “Give me ten minutes. I was so hard on you, I need to make up for it. We got a full week but I need to make sweet love to you tonight, princess.” 

Forget dinner, you’ll be the only meal he needs to eat tonight.

[uwua3]

first time he kissed a boy.

🍁🥇🍰 settsu banri x hyodo juza

summary: a collection of moments where juza and banri kiss and never speak of it again, until they do

warnings: alcohol, arguments, enemies/rivals, insomnia, internalized homophobia, kissing, mentions of death, nightmares, sexuality crisis

author’s note: firstly, there is no serious nsfw in this song fic! the most you’ll see, as seen in the title, is kissing !! :D i do not sexualize minors even if banri & juza are in university in this piece !!! this is angst with a happy ending :)

word count: 2,522

music: first time he kissed a boy – kadie elder, touch – troye sivan

TROUBLED FACE, HEADPHONES ON

FORGETTING TIME AND PLACE, ALL HE WANTED

“Scared, Hyodo?”

Banri’s touch was wicked—his hold on Juza’s collar was deadly tight, like a king snake’s grip on its victim. His tongue was sharp with words only a man unafraid of hell could speak, and as Banri leaned in closer, Juza questioned how much of this he could have.

“You don’t fucking scare me, Settsu.” Juza cursed, his back rigid against the wall and arms holding himself up in the closet. It was such a small, cramped space; one wrong move and this would be over. Banri laughed meanly, like always. Everything about Banri was so cold, like a double–edged sword that hurt even the wielder. Yet, here Juza was, firmly taking him by the hilt and accepting any injuries.

“Then, kiss me. You won’t—”

When Juza closed the distance and let himself close his eyes, he felt Banri’s breath hitch in his throat. It was such a small, unnoticeable sound, but pride burned at the pit of Juza’s ego knowing he caught the Settsu Banri off guard. Banri quickly adjusted, sitting on his lap and tightening his vile clutch onto his long time rival and sworn enemy.

It was supposed to be nothing more than a drunken dare, a challenge that would never be spoken about again after that awful round of boredly playing seven minutes in heaven with their college friends. But, with the intoxicating liquor upon their lips and the bass bumping in the background as the party went full swing, it felt like more than just two university students messing around in a frat house’s storage closet.

Banri’s devilish smirk tasted of years of unsaid confessions, hidden meanings, and secrets he’d take to the grave. It was something that made Juza realize this wasn’t the first time Banri kissed a boy, he was just the one of many.

When Banri pulled back seconds before the closet door swung open to the cheers of partygoers, Juza swallowed nervously as he felt himself stand up. He felt sober, because that was his first kiss with a boy. Juza’s first kiss was with Banri all because of a stupid dare���and, he liked it.

FEELING STUCK, SET HIM FREE

RUNNING OUT OF LUCK, ON HIS KNEES

It was 3 A.M. when Juza woke up to Banri. Banri, an insomniac who didn’t dare let himself be alone in the middle of the night, was asleep. It was one of the few times Banri was overcome and conquered by his own nightmare monsters, where he either succumbed to the draining force of tiredness or died trying. Tonight was when Banri passed out, unwillingly allowing the darkest crevices of his mind to run rampant and haunt him in the dark.

Banri was muttering something about freedom, a vain concept that others viewed him as the poster boy of, before thrashing in bed, his movements wild and unpredictable. Banri didn’t let himself sleep often because when he did, the worst parts of himself became fueled by nightmare energy. Juza sleepily blinked, pushing himself out of bed to softly walk over to Banri’s side.

A side of the room Juza never dared attempted to trespass until now.

Before Juza could place his hand on Banri’s cheek, Banri immediately yelled and shot up, his breathing uneven and heartbead pounding in his ears. Juza flinched back, not used to such a broken visage of Settsu Banri. Banri made sure that he always come off as an indifferent bastard that got what he wanted. But, now, he was vulnerably himself. The person Banri was most afraid of at night, was himself.

“H–Hyodo, you’re here...” Banri breathed out, attempting to mask the gratefulness and exhaustion weighing down his words. Juza didn’t react at first, simply settling his weight on the bed warily, waiting for any sign to stop. When Juza finally put his hand besides Banri’s, who was slightly shaking, Banri carefully took it, lacing their fingers together.

Banri’s hands were made of irresponsible and childish stories of his past, relentless and unsilenced anger at the rest of the world, and the pain and suffering of someone who burnt out with no purpose a long time ago. These were the calloused, scarred hands of someone dangerous—but, Juza didn’t care tonight.

When Banri turned his head and they were only inches away from each other, when Banri’s half–lidded eyes glanced down at Juza’s lips with no strings attached, when everything that made up Settsu Banri was uncertain, Juza knew he should’ve left. He should’ve never come over to Banri’s bed in the dead of night just to hold his enemy’s hand, just to step over unspoken boundaries from years ago. But, he didn’t move. He didn’t want to.

Banri moved in first this time, his palms sweaty and eyelids fluttering closed with a quiet sigh. When Banri pulled away to drop his forehead on Juza’s shoulder, whispering a quiet “thank you”, Juza didn’t say anything back. Juza slept in Banri’s bed that night, and Banri was gone by morning doing god knows what. Something they’d both regret, for sure.

Juza didn’t ask if Banri was okay from last night’s nightmare, and Banri didn’t bring up how for the first time, he slept for hours without fear.

FIRST TIME HE KISSED A BOY

HE HAD NEVER NEVER KNEW

COVER UP IS WHAT THEY TOLD

FEEL SO COLD

Juza didn’t know if he liked boys. Was it... normal? Why did every adult say boys had to like girls? It didn’t feel right—to see women in a romantic way, he’d never date one. He didn’t recently think this until that one frat party after literally coming out of the closet with his long time rival. Damn, Settsu, always fucking up his head in the most unpredictable ways.

Juza didn’t know why he was questioning if he liked boys. It more came down to whether he liked boys, or he just liked Banri. Settsu Banri, the bane of his existence, who was currently underneath him. Juza never thought he’d see the day Banri would come out on the losing side, but here he was, out of breath but cruel as ever.

Banri claimed Juza was the only person in the whole entire world that could even have a chance at beating his ass. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, but sometimes, it felt like an excuse so Juza could pin him to the ground in victory.

Ever since their second kiss, it suddenly became a casual thing for them to do. To tease each other mercilessly, to initiate intimacy on a wavering grey area, to pull each other close and never let it go. It was all from years of pent up tension that never left them even into college, now they could act on it without defining what their exact relationship was.

Fighting, was one of those previously normal activities that changed in an instant. Banri could’ve easily just swung his legs out to knock Juza over, but he chose not to. Instead, he grinned with his teeth sharp like some sort of tricky predator, letting his wrists be pinned above his head.

“I’ll never lose to you, Settsu.”

“Come on, you know you want to—” Before Banri could finish, he heard the practice room door swing open and Juza was a foot away. Banri sat up and numbly agreed when the Director asked if they were rehearsing a combat scene, to which Juza hurriedly ran with. It wasn’t until the Director left that Banri stood up, facing off with no casual intentions like before.

“What the hell was that, Hyodo?” Banri scoffed, but Juza saw right through it. Settsu Banri was hurt—insulted that he was just some secret Juza kept all to himself. It made Juza feel sick with confusion why he suddenly started giving a fuck about how Banri felt. But, Banri couldn’t know that. So Juza straightened his posture, using his half inch to his advantage and presenting himself angrily.

“Spit it out, Settsu. No one understands anything if all you do is swear.” Juza fought back tooth and nail, but Banri came in swinging, asking the inevitable question that’s been following Juza ever since that party closet challenge.

“Why do you always act like we’re just friends? Are you straight?”

Juza didn’t answer—instead, he looked down at the ground where Banri used to lay. Was it shame that stopped him from responding? Why did Juza feel like he should’nt be into boys? Juza knew there was inherently nothing wrong with guys, but why couldn’t he say it out loud? Banri laughed, but it was so cold that it sliced through Juza’s indecisiveness like a double–edged sword. It was his fault, anyways, he took the hilt early on.

“You—You, you fucking used me?” Banri started off with pure, untamed fury but it trailed off into a moment of weakness. Juza shook his head, eyes wide as he tried to come closer, only for Banri to stumble back immediately with a pointed glare that should’ve killed him on the spot.

“No, no. I didn’t, I swear to god I didn’t. I just don’t know, I’m not ready.” Juza blurted out and the practice room went quiet, with nothing but their labored breathing. Banri took the words in and refused to show any signs of pain, instead crossing his arms and rolling his eyes as if he didn’t care. But, he did, tremendously so.

“Figure it out, goddamn it. I’m not your experiment, Hyodo. I never will be.” Banri finally said and left, leaving whatever undefined relationship they had together. Juza let him go, letting the door slam shut and winced at the sound of someone kicking in a trashcan.

“I like you, Banri...” Juza whispered, his fingertips ghosting over the curve of his lips before forming a fist. Juza didn’t know how hard he punched the wall, but a hole the size of his heart was left in its place.

FIRST TIME HE KISSED A BOY

HE HAD NEVER NEVER LOVED

WALKS ON A CURVY ROAD

FEEL SO COLD

Juza now knew he liked boys in one way or another. Especially one boy named Settsu Banri, an ex (if Juza could call him that) who wouldn’t give him the time of day now. Any walls or defenses Juza managed to take down were rebuilt even stronger, and Banri was not his anymore.

He didn’t know how to tell Banri that he was into him, as way more than enemies and anything else they proclaimed themselves to be, until one motorcycle ride.

“Are you serious? Why do I have to go with him?” Banri complained, emphasizing who his partner for the night was. Juza, unluckily, knew how to ride a motorcycle and all the other seats in the available cars were empty. This meant Juza would have to sit with Banri for over a hour, after avoiding each other for weeks.

As much as Banri was stubborn, Sakyo was terrifying. Relenting, Banri swore underneath his breath and locked eyes with Juza, narrowing them to show he was indeed pissed off about this predicament. Banri’s vivid purple eyes were something that lingered at the back of his mind, and now they were staring him down like he was the worst person in the world. Juza just looked away, his thoughts heavy and all focused on one vengeful boy.

When everyone began preparing for their destination, Juza felt Banri’s arms wrap around his waist and his mind blanked. It had been so long since they last touched each other, that everything within Juza was shutting down. If Banri was made of empty lies, rich boy pretentiousness, and inherent privilege, Juza was made of hardhitting truths, quiet humbleness, and a life of many adversities. How could one boy so opposite of him make him feel so alive? Juza ignored his heart that stuttered at the touch of Banri, and revved the motorcycle engine instead.

Juza looked over his shoulder to check if Banri was wearing his helmet. He wasn’t, but Juza could live with that. Almost on impulse, Juza almost leaned in to sneak a quick kiss before the realization dawned on him: they weren’t each other’s anymore. Whatever that meant to them. So, Juza faced forward and drove off into the night, ready to get this ride to wherever Mankai needed him over with.

As the road curved and the motorcycle’s beams illuminated the street alongside the lamps, Juza exhaled sharply as he felt Banri’s head on his shoulder. It was just the second of what they could’ve had that made Juza park to the side. Banri stirred awake for a moment, the prominent eyebags telling of how little sleep he’s been getting ever since him and Juza called it quits. As Banri opened his mouth, Juza beat him to it.

“I like boys.”

KEEPING BACK THE GHOST INSIDE

LOCKED HIM IN A PACK, ALL HIS LIFE

“I don’t know what I am, but I do know I like boys. I like girls, boys, anyone. I don’t know my sexuality for sure, but I know... I like you.”

Banri took a while before leaning back, examining Juza’s face underneath the flickering street light. It was honest, truthful, and certain, like this was something he knew all along. Sighing, Banri crudely shrugged and revealed his classic Settsu smirk.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Banri ran his hand through his hair tiredly, willing himself to stay awake for this conversation as he hummed something. Juza gripped the handle bars tighter, the anxiety from confessing such a secret loud in his veins. Would anything change? Could they get back to being together? Were they ever together?

“We... You don’t have to tell anyone about this, Hyodo. I just needed to know this wasn’t some fling.” Or a mistake, Banri finished quietly, his words barely audible over the sound of cars driving past them. The tension in Juza’s shoulders bled out as he turned to face Banri with subtle relief. The pressure to come out suddenly became non–existent.

“So, we’re...?” Juza trailed off, unsure on how to define their relationship with one another. Just friends didn’t do what they did, but friends with benefits wasn’t exactly the case. Juza was sure repressed feelings wasn’t apart of any of those subcategories. Banri let his hands rest at the back of the motorcycle, holding himself up as he stared at Juza with a knowing smile.

“I’m all or nothing, you know that.” Banri laughed and Juza didn’t realize how much different it sounded compared to those seven minutes in the closet. Having a boyfriend, that sounded more than okay.

GET LOST, GET LOST, GET LOST

“Scared, Banri?” Juza was so scared but he was willing to take the risk just to be Banri’s.

“You don’t fucking scare me, Juza.” Banri was absolutely scared, that the boy he’s been obsessed with could just go in and break his heart anytime. But, Banri would let him if it meant he was Juza’s.

Juza didn’t remember how many times he’s kissed Banri at this point, but he did it again and again. Juza kissed Banri—and, he liked it.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

[yandere-daydreams]

Two Of My Fave-Boys (Yes, I Have A Type) [Submission]

At first you thought it was a nightmare- everything all dark and claustrophobic, a mysterious force pinning you down and preventing any movement- that is, until you heard the low moans and felt the insistent, wet kisses swiping across your lips.

The haze of sleep burnt away in an instant by the rush of adrenaline. Someone was on top of you. Someone had broken into your home. The fear slammed into you like a falling building strong enough to paralyse you, a small gasp was the only noise you could make.

You felt the intruder relax somewhat, as if encouraged by your lack of reaction, their kisses becoming slower and much more hard. As their legs relaxed, the weight doubled down on your lower stomach, pressing something hard against you. You felt the hands that had pinned your shoulders sliding down your arms, caressing the skin with a sickening affection.

By now you were floating outside of your body, refusing to believe what was happening. The intense panic had melted your perception of time, the seconds oozing past thickly, unusually slow and far too fast at the same time.

Suddenly you were jolted out of your stupor by a bite to your lower lip. It hadn’t been hard enough to break the skin, but it was enough to send your attention back to your unexpected visitor. They broke off the kiss, leaning their head back from where it had blocked all light from entering your wide eyes, becoming a looming silhouette above you.

You felt their breath tickle your face as they spoke, “Come on. Don’t be shy.” Instantly your mind connected the voice to the person it belonged to and you didn’t know why you even bothered to be surprised- it was Noya. It was always Noya.

He spoke again as he leaned back down, his mouth hovering over your own and the vibrations of his words resounding through your chest. His voice was rough with heavy breathing, but carrying the playful edge that always seemed to be present around you- “Kiss me.” He said.

Maybe it was just the tiredness from his long day practising, but Hinata was having a harder time than usual keeping his eyes off you. Maybe that excuse was giving him too much credit, though. It seemed nowadays that he didn’t even try to stop himself from gazing at you if he felt the urge to and recently that was becoming more and more frequent.

He idly thought to himself how it had all started, before he realised he had a crush he would suddenly come out of deep thought and realise he had been staring at you rather than off into the distance like he normally would when he zoned out. Whether you were in class, on the side lines, or helping out with tosses at practice, his eyes were drawn to you.

Smiling to himself, he looked away from you and back at the T.V where the both of you had been watching some crappy, forgettable movie, made entertaining by liberal mocking mostly coming from your end. It felt good that you were so relaxed with him, slumped into the sofa cushions in your living room, the fingertips of one hand just barely making contact with his shoulder. He felt like he was flying.

He just wished it didn’t also make him feel so… he didn’t know. It didn’t feel just like love, at least, not the way it been presented to him by media and through socialising. It felt excited…intense. It felt like something wound up on the inside every time he was around you until it was tight enough to break!

You shifted your position next to him, drawing your arm back in as you sat up. Hinata felt a sense of sadness at the cessation of your touch, but also relief as some of his tension wound down. His eyebrows raised as he looked at you curiously.

“I’m just gonna take a shower, you can wait down here if you like, but I need to get these gross gym clothes off asap.” You said with a smile, tugging at the hem of your t-shirt to underscore your point.

“Ok! I’ll just wait right here!” He grinned back, his smile losing a lot of its brightness as you walked out of the room and his gaze was forced back to the movie.

With you sat so close by, it was natural that he had been able to smell you, it wasn’t like he was specifically trying to or anything. But he didn’t mind how you smelt, he quite liked it in fact- it reminded him of all the good times you had spent together in the gym and it was further proof of how comfortable you were with him to not get changed immediately after the both of you arrived back at your house.

Most of all, he liked it because it was you. A part of you that he could take in with another of his senses.

He could feel the tension winding up again when an idea came to him. The shower running in the bathroom and reminded him of your little routine. The shower room was much too small for a laundry basket, so you often dumped your clothes into the one in your room before wearing a dressing gown as you got ready.

The idea was so tempting! It was getting a little hard to breathe as he tried to control his excitement.

Hinata barely hesitated, pulling himself off the sofa, he didn’t even think to sneak as he made his way to your room and straight to the laundry in the corner. It was right on top of the pile, practically sliding into his hands as he picked it up, rubbing the grey fabric between his fingers. He looked at it thoughtfully, the sound of running water in the background drawing him into an almost meditative calm.

He barely registered bringing it up to his face and inhaling deeply, drawing your scent in and out of his lungs a few times before rubbing the shirt across his cheeks soothingly. He would definitely wear it to bed at night- he might even pull it over his pillowcase so he could be reminded of your smell as he slept. Maybe he would dream about you!

Grinning at the thought, he stuffed the shirt into his bag, and wandered back to the sofa, clutching it excitedly to his chest.

[sandersfander1820]

Off Day

Pairing: Moxiety (Patton x Virgil)

Prompt: an unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it

Words: 1,407

*

Patton had been having an off sort of day. He’d woken up feeling… weird. There wasn’t really a better way to describe it. He just felt wrong. The mindscape outside all their windows was vaguely dreary and looked a bit as if it would rain later. Patton himself just felt kinda like sitting somewhere alone and crying, though he wasn’t sure what about. Nothing seemed wrong. He just felt… bad.

So what Patton usually did in a situation like this was spend time with his fellow sides.

Roman was always a good bet for distracting himself from these unwanted feelings. He was often boisterous and loud, smiling frequently. His regal demeanor often helped to lift Patton’s spirits when other avenues seemed to fail.

But this particular morning, Roman declined Patton’s offer of hanging out. Roman told Patton rather solemnly that he would be going on a quest in the Imagination for a couple of days, and would not be able to bring Patton along. He did sometimes, bring the other sides along on days of questing and adventuring. But he claimed that it could be “rather perilous” and that Patton was “needed here to help Thomas should he need it”.

So Patton, being a good sport and all, smiled and wished him luck. He gave Roman a hug and a quick peck to his cheek, and then sent him on his way.

As soon as Roman’s back was turned, Patton’s smile fell and the urge to cry alone returned, this time a little stronger and suddenly with a reason.

But Patton refused to spend the day that way. He was the optimism of the group, the Dad, the happy pappy Patton. He wouldn’t mope around when there was work to be done and people to make smile.

So Patton looked towards Logan next. Sometimes Logan was willing to let Patton sit with him while he worked out the schedule. It didn’t require a whole lot of concentration, and Logan had once admitted that, on occasion, it was nice to have Patton was a background distraction. Just to change things up and keep himself from getting burnt out. Not because he liked Patton’s presence or anything like that. No, not at all.

But Logan, too, was busy. Thomas had recently been faced with a lot of scheduling conflicts and some conundrums of the logical and scientific sort, and Logan couldn’t spare any time to “babysit” Patton.

He wouldn’t admit it, but that one stung a little. He was sure Logan didn’t mean it. The logical side was just stressed, and he and Patton did tend to work against each other from time to time, so he understood the slightly shortened temperament.

Though, that didn’t mean that Patton wasn’t left with a tighter smile than before and a chest that was aching just a hair harsher than he could generally handle.

He stood in the hallway for a moment, just fighting down the bubble of emotion that was fighting its way up through his lungs. He had to keep it together, after all. If he got too upset, it would start to affect Thomas, and then the others would notice because their jobs would get a lot harder rather suddenly.

Once again, he shook himself, settling on his next course of action. Roman and Logan were busy, but Patton still had a friend left. His best friend. Well, he hoped, anyway.

Patton found himself plastering on the widest, truest smile that he possibly could, and knocking jovially on Virgil’s bedroom door.

“Virgil!” Patton called, careful not to be too loud. “Are you up yet?”

He heard an answering groan that was followed by a couple of thumps and a few seconds of silence. Then the door was opening a little, revealing Thomas’ anxious side, still dressed in his pajamas and rumpled from sleep. His hair was all over the place, messy and knotted from rolling in the sheets. (Virgil was not a still, nor sound, sleeper.) He squinted harshly against the hallway light, peering up at Patton like his presence at the door was offensive.

Patton was already bracing himself for rejection.

“Hey, kiddo! I can tell you’ve just woken up, but I wanted to see if you wanted to spend the day together.” Patton smiled encouragingly. “We could bake cookies or do some puzzles, or we could drink some cocoa and have a movie marathon. Interested?”

Virgil took a few seconds to answer, rubbing at his eyes and stifling a yawn.

“No offense, Pat, but… all of that sounds kind of awful.”

Patton’s heart dropped straight into his stomach.

“Oh!” He tried to keep his tone light. “Well, did you have any ideas? We could-”

“I just want to lay down in the dark, Patton. I don’t feel great today.”

“Oh,” Patton said again, feeling like a broken record. “Well, can I get you anything? I’ll go and make some soup or something, and I’ll check in on you later-”

Patton was already backing away from the door, retreating. He could feel his chest tightening, his throat beginning to sting. His eyes were becoming just this side of wet with welling tears. He prayed a little that Virgil didn’t notice, or that if he did, he didn’t comment. Because now Patton really did just want to go back to his room and cry for awhile.

“Well, I hope you feel better, kiddo-”

Virgil’s hand shot out quicker than Patton would have expected the anxious side could do anything right now and caught his shirt.

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you with me, Pat,” Virgil admitted in a soft tone, now seeming much more awake than he was a second ago. Patton tried to tell himself it wasn’t because Virgil knew he was about to cry. “I would just rather we sit and nap today.”

Patton was quiet, unsure how to respond. He was doing his best not to get his hopes up. Virgil could still change his mind, and Patton would never fault him for that.

“Is that- Is that okay?” Virgil asked, all mumbled words and shy tones.

Patton smiled at his friend, hoping the look wasn’t too sad.

“Of course that’s okay.”

Virgil smiled gratefully at him.

“Tell you what,” Patton started, sounding a lot more sure of himself this time. “How about I go change into some better cuddling clothes, and then I’ll come join you. Okay? Might even grab some cocoa if you were at all interested in that. Yeah?”

Virgil nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Alright,” Patton sighed, pressing a peck of a kiss to Virgil’s temple quickly. “I’ll be back in just a few.”

It took Patton just about ten minutes to be changed and have his hands full of two mugs of hot chocolate, padding his way back up the stairs. The feeling from earlier was still there, lingering in the depths of his lungs, but it had lessened by the offer of cuddles from his best friend.

He joined Virgil in his bedroom, setting the mugs on the nightstand to cool while they curled up together under the heavy duvet. Virgil’s room was often kept cool, but not uncomfortably so. Virgil slept better in a cool environment with plenty of warm, heavy blankets on top of him.

Virgil tucked himself into Patton’s chest, all but burying his nose into the skin of Patton’s neck. They laid there together for what seemed like ages, drifting through Almost Dreams and floating a little bit. Their hot chocolate was cooling to vaguely room temperature cocoa on the nightstand, but who really cared? Patton certainly didn’t. Especially not when Virgil yawned and shifted, pulling away from Patton far enough for the both of them to lock eyes.

“Thanks, Pat,” Virgil mumbled, sleepy. He leaned forward again, pressing his lips to Patton’s.

They hadn’t kissed a whole lot before. It had only been a handful of times, and in all of those times, Patton had been the one to kiss Virgil. So, understandably, Patton hadn’t seen this coming. Honestly, just a moment ago, he’d been convinced Virgil was actually asleep.

But this was better. So much better.

Patton sighed into the kiss, flattening his hands against Virgil’s back and pressing them both closer together.

“Any time, Virge,” he promised against the other side’s lips.

Any time. Because Virgil was worth it and this was so much better than crying alone in his room.

*

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this. I would love to hear what you thought.

[leagueofidiots]

People keep referencing the one chapter of you're NNWM, what happened??

Shigadabi, but my subconcious was shipping Spinnerdabi on main in retrospect/ Magnetmagic briefly

Song fic for Billie Eillish's Listen Before I Go

Last two chapters, needs a little context, but all the important stuff is explained

I'll also include the chapter after because I'd feel bad if I didn't

WARNING!! I'M VERY SERIOUS!! THERE IS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT HERE!! I EVEN TRIGGERED MYSELF WHILE WRITING THIS, AND THAT IS VERY RARE!! BE SMARTER THAN ME, AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT SITTING ALONE IN A DARK HOUSE AFTER SKIPPING TWO MEALS!! HUG A PILLOW!! GET SOME WATER!! BE CAREFUL!! 💜

•Take me to the rooftop•

Tomura's asleep next to me, face still turned up to the stars. We've been up here for about two hours, but he finally fell asleep.

The promised celebration was nice. We had it as soon as I was well enough to be close to normal as I could, which only took about a week. They learned how to make a few things from what Hawks gave us before the battle, which I ended up eating some of to make them happy.

They did end up having to take me to Ujiko. My burns spread, now uneven again. He says he'll bring my aesthetic back next time I go in to get my staples fixed. I agreed. There will be no next time, after all.

•I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue•

After Tomura brought me up here, we simply talked. No unnecessary emotional dumps. No tears. No drama. Just simple things.

And now he lies next to me, a bandage he tied around his pinkie allowing him to grasp my hand in his own. It's nice, I'll admit. Breathing in the cool air as I sense his every small movement.

The stars are beautiful tonight. We snuffed the flame of our lantern, though that was nice too, just to see them better. The city lights make it so there aren't many, but it's still a good night for the sky.

•Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious•

Careful not to wake him, I carefully pry my hand from my boyfriend's. I'll do what I need to do, but I'd rather him not be awake for this. It's my time, no matter what.

I'm ready for the end, and apparently whoever it is that decides my fate agrees. All I can hope for is that Tomura doesn't blame himself when they find me dead on the sidewalk tomorrow.

What will they do? At least I'm not their leader, but I do still have an influence on the league. Even as useless as I am now, surely they'll still react.

Standing at the edge. It's coming. The end of it all. I'll never have to think about any of it ever again. The brutal training my father put me through. My mother going insane. Burning. Ujiko's experiments. The streets practically eating me alive. Giran's guidance into crime. Killing my father only a week ago.

•Leave me like you do•

The news has been all over the case. Endeavor and Hawks found dead. Witnesses say it was Dabi that killed them. Both burnt to a crisp, Hawks with half-grown-in wings.

Dabi's body hasn't been found, not even a trace. They think he might have burned too, that the black and purple flames seen from outside the wall of blue may have consumed him entirely, taking even his ashes with him.

•If you need me, wanna see me•

And they're right. Dabi's dead. Lost in the flames. Dabi carried rage and purpose, and all he stood for was taken with my piercings and my skin.

Touya died with his innocence, along with his weakness. And now Dabi has followed with all of his anger. Everything that fuelled him, that kept him going, is gone now. So now I am nameless.

•Better hurry 'cause I'm leaving soon•

I wonder what they'll do when I'm really dead. Will the news care? Or will it just pass by like anything else?

They certainly care about the rest of the Todorokis. The thoughts of my mother and siblings make more sense to me than my own at this point.

Rei Todoroki. Wife of Enji Todoroki. Recently released from the mental asylum. Deep in grief. She's planning the funeral for a month from the day of his death. Their deaths. She's set up a shrine for her late husband next to the front door, though reports say it's more for his identity as a hero than the shrine for her son.

•Sorry can't save me now•

Fuyumi Todoroki. The daughter of Enji Todoroki. She says she can't grasp that her brother is dead. She says she feels it in her soul that he isn't. That it's freeing, her father's death.

•Sorry I don't know how•

Natsuo Todoroki. The son of Enji Todoroki. He's avoided all reporters. Hasn't left his room since getting the news. His family says that he and Touya Todoroki used to be close, and Natsuo was elated to hear he wasn't dead. All that is gone now. That his only consolation is that his family is safe from the pro hero.

•Sorry there's no way out•

Shoto Todoroki. Son of Enji Todoroki. He's been busy with school, so not a lot of reporters have been able to talk to him, but his grades are suffering. UA is considering making him take a year off to focus on his mental health.

•But down•

The family as a whole is in general agreement. It's a tragedy to them. Both deaths. And while Endeavor may have had a negative influence on them in life, and they feel safer with him gone, they still mourn his death.

And while it's a painful blow that Touya has died again as Dabi, it is also a good thing. He had turned villain after all. It's for the best.

Well, I guess they'll really get what they wanted. Touya, Dabi, and whoever I am now are about to be long gone.

•Down•

What were my last moments with each of them? I want to think of each of them before I go. I at least owe each of them a thought.

•Taste me, these salty tears on my cheeks•

Start easy. Eri and Butt. They were together on the couch, weren't they? Yeah.

Eri was tired. Once it hit around nine, she lay down on the couch, calling up the dog to curl up next to each other. There was almost a smile on her face as she drifted off, and Compress carried her in.

•That's what a year-long headache does to you•

Hawks. He had done things, after all. And it was my fault he was gone. Even if he was a traitor, he still did the best that a pro hero could do. It's not him I'm mad at. Was mad at.

His last moment was spent trying to get Endeavor to stop. For legal reasons, surely not because he cared at all. And then my father just had to burn him up, like everyone else in his way.

•I'm not okay, I feel so scattered•

Compress. Where had he been?

His date with Magne had been postponed once I ended up injured. He'd said I was more important. Like I had any importance. After he'd taken Eri to her room, he'd gone to bed, saying he wanted to rest for the date.

I wonder if they'll move it again when they find me? I hope not.

•Don't say I'm all that matters•

Kurogiri. Tomura was right, he really is good.

His last action towards me was pretty simple. Before he went to bed, he gave me a pack of beers that we'd ended up taking to the roof. Told me not to drink too much.

I probably should have respected that wish more. I'm on my fifth can. I don't regret it though.

•Leave me, déjà vu•

Spinner.

His last action hadn't been anything much. Just said good night. Still, before that he'd told me off to the side how proud he was of how much of their food I'd eaten.

•If you need me, wanna see me•

Magne. Bless her, I wish I'd said goodbye to them.

Tonight she was having problems with her stomach, so she spent her evening in her room. The last I saw of her was her smile as we did each others' eye liner.

She was very helpful during my healing process. Brought me the closest to normal out of anyone.

•You better hurry, I'm leaving soon•

Toga. What will Toga think of me when she sees? Will she hate me?

Toga spent most of her time singing karaoke with Jin. My final memory of her is the sound of her cheery voice as she spun around, nearly forcing her hairbrush down her throat as a makeshift microphone.

What was the song? I wasn't listening. I wish I had been so I could hum it to myself now.

•Sorry can't save me now•

Jin. I'm a terrible person.

After most people had gone to bed, he'd pulled me aside. Asked if I was okay. That it was okay if I wasn't. And you know what I did?

I lied.

And he'd smiled. Like I'd said something amazing. And he spent the next five minutes saying how happy he was that I was happy.

He'll definitely hate me when he finds me.

•Sorry I don't know how•

And Tomura.

Tomura.

Before he'd slept, he'd looked me straight in the eye, my hand closed gently in his, and he'd said he loved me. That he needed me.

I'm so selfish.

His red eyes shone beautifully as he'd said it, filling me with butterflies. They'd died as soon as he broke eye contact, but it was the first thing I'd felt since the attack.

I'd told him that I needed him too.

•Sorry there's no way out•

I'm glad I saw them all. That I can recall what our final words were. Their last smiles at me. That I can picture them all in my mind. It'll help me when it's time.

There's no way I'd be strong enough without it. Even now, a foot away from the ledge, I'm scared. The end.

•But down•

The end has always been a comfort. Something to look forward to. Whenever my head got dark, and I couldn't see a way out, I just reminded myself that there was an end that drew closer with every second.

•Down•

And here it is. Waiting for me a short drop and a few seconds away. Since getting up has already felt like an eternity, but the six steps from where I started aren't that far compared to the path of life I've been lost on for so long.

•Call my friends and tell them that I love them•

The league helped me find it. Find life. They showed me where I was, and they've led me to this point. I'll have to thank them when we all end up dead and I see them again. If I see them again.

•And I'll miss them•

Even before Shigaraki bribed us with those dumb gifts to stay in the bar and treat it like a home, I considered them a safe place. Safer anyway.

•But I'm not sorry•

And they kept me on the path I needed to be on. Kept me alive. For the most part, kept my additional burns to a minimum.

The streets never did that. They left me to defend those younger than me, even if only by a few years, at the cost of my life if need be.

•Call my friends and tell them that I love them•

If not for the league, if not for seeing that newscast when I did, Endeavor would still be alive and active as a hero. Life would still be a spiral with no clear end in sight.

•And I'll miss them•

I step onto the edge of the roof, looking down at the end. Like in storybooks. The villain dies, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

•Sorry•

I drape one leg over, closing my eyes. I'm ready for it. My ending. I lean forward.

And just as my eyes snap open and a feeling of paralyzing panic fills me with regret, it happens.

A hand, one finger bandaged, reaches out and grabs my wrist, leaving me dangling by a foot and an arm off the roof of the bar.

Shigaraki's arms feel strong. So strong compared to me. After he caught me, he didn't waste a second getting me down from the roof. I can't say I wanted to stay up there.

My whole life led up to that moment. Everything I went through was just to end it all. And then I didn't want to. Right at the last second. Is that weakness?

Shigaraki's heavy breathing of panic and sobs managed to wake somebody up, and eventually they've all filed out to the scene of the two of us sitting on the floor, Tomura holding onto me tightly, my sight fixed firmly into the distance.

"Shiggy, what's wrong?" asks Magne, rubbing her eyes. 

He doesn't answer, still clutching onto me, and I can't find it in myself to answer. "Be careful of Dabi's burns," warns Kurogiri.

I can't feel them. Even if I could, I don't think I'd care. He's anchoring me, and right now I desperately need that hold on reality. Still, he loosens his death grip.

"Did something happen?" asks Spinner, his hair cascading around his face.

"Well obviously something happened. No, they look peachy!" Jin plops down in front of us. "Dabi, did you…?"

I finally snap my gaze to him, staring at his masked face. "I'm sorry, Bubaigawara, I just---" 

His arms wrap around me too, pressing my face into his shoulder. "You don't have to be sorry," he says in a broken voice. I wait for his contradiction, but it doesn't come.

I hear Compress kneel behind us, pressing his hand on Shigaraki's shoulder. "He's okay, Tomura. We'll look out for him."

My boyfriend's body shakes, his available fingernails digging into my chest through the front of my shirt. "Dabi, please don't, please, you said you loved me, please don't leave me," says his quiet voice.

I feel awful. I hurt him for nothing. And Jin. And I can feel in the air that the rest of the league is slowly figuring it out too. It didn't even come to anything but hurt.

"Dabi, I swear, you need to stop being so blind," says Toga, sitting behind Twice. "You know that we love you, right?"

"I know," I whisper. "I know. I'm sorry."

Kurogiri sits to the side of me Tomura doesn't take up. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know. You just wanted the easy way out of your suffering. There's nothing so terrible about wanting it to stop. I just hope you'll learn someday that we can help you end it in a way that will let you keep going after that."

I nod, reaching up one of my hands to place over Tomura's. Geez, I'm crying. Again.

"And even if it's selfish of us," says Magne, sitting herself next to Shigaraki. "You're good to have around. And not just for your quirk, either, so don't start that nonsense again."

Tomura grabs my straying hand. "Don't you ever pull that crap again."

I squeeze his hand. "I won't. I swear. Thank you for catching me." And I mean it. There's something in me now that I think I've been stuffing down.

I love these people. And while it does scare me because of all that's happened with those I've loved and trusted before, I don't think it'll end like that this time. I love them. And I want to keep going, even if for a while it's only because I have them, that's okay.

I love them enough that I want to keep living. To keep trying. Past all the pain.

"I wish you'd told us before now," says Spinner, tying his hair back to keep it out of his eyes. "Maybe we could have helped before it got to this."

"No, I knew," says Twice, face still pressed into my shirt, dampening it with his hot tears. "I knew, and all I did was give him a little slap on the wrist. You people are just blind!"

"No," I say, bringing my other hand to his back. "It's not any of your faults. If anything, you guys already helped a lot. Please don't blame yourselves for this."

Magne ruffles my hair gently. "It's nobody's fault. Sometimes things are just like that. What's important is that you're still here with us, and nobody got hurt."

"Did you want to talk about it?" asks Kurogiri.

I shake my head. "Nothing new. I just had it set in my mind as the only option. It got to be too much a while ago, and that's what I decided, so then once Endeavor was dead...I just sort of went on auto-pilot."

Toga smiles at me faintly. "Well, don't worry about it. Just a week ago I killed a guy on a whim; we all do weird stuff sometimes. That was a bad example, huh?"

Shigaraki grunts. "It kind of was. I'm in a weird mood though, so I'll allow it."

The next hour is spent in silence as Tomura cries the rest of his feelings out and we simply sit in the bar. It's not the same, but it's good. I feel lighter.

The next day brings awkwardness and hangovers, but it really doesn't matter. We're all just sort of happy to be around each other. Grateful.

Magne and Compress do end up going on that date, and they end up having a lot of fun apparently. Whatever Sako did must have been very impressive, with the amount of blushing Kenji was doing when they came back.

Tomura and I go on an official date too, a few days later. It's very nice. I really do love him.

And now, it doesn't really matter what we're doing as a group, or where or next mission will take us, because regardless of whatever it is, we're doing it together. And really, that's all I've ever wanted in a family.

[theprodigypenguin]

👀 (I hope it isn't closed yet, love you! 💙)

It’s an end of the year game so I guess it’s open till the end of the year (or until I run out of WIPs, ya know?). Thank you for the Raven-heart! This is from a Jeddy that I initially wanted to be one of those semi-cliche fuck-or-die fics, just to test my abilities and play around with their characters. Never got to the “fuck” part of the fic cuz smut and I have a bad relationship SO this is what I have to share~ This was also written back before I’d decided James was smol in my headcanon, so he’s semi-tall in the oof.

Most of what Teddy did was assess the properties of certain objects in order to pass them along to the more diverse segments of the Department. When something unusual came in, he had to figure out if it pertained to Love, Time, Death, or any other mysterious magic, or if it was harmless enough to send up to the top floors of the Ministry for the rest of the workers to deal with.

In the months he’d been working there, Teddy had seen it all. A teapot that had been tampered with that they’d sent up to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department, a Muggle broom that a young wizard had accidentally infused with magic because he wanted to fly already, among more dangerous items. Broken time turners that still had a bit of magic in them and needed to be disposed of properly, a vial of smoky green liquid that nearly made Harry vomit when he looked at it, and their most recent discovery.

They’d deduced that the item wasn’t dangerous or toxic in any immediate way, so Teddy’s supervisor had given him authorization to bring it home for further research and an order to get some rest and eat something other than caffeine. It was an unusual artifact, that was certain.

Like most of the relics stored in the Department of Mysteries, this one didn’t look imposing or dangerous at all. Found in the cellar of an old Death Eater who’d recently passed, sitting on a pillow of black velvet set into a stained mahogany box with a glass inlaid lid that allowed viewing of the item within without opening.

It was a deep scarlet red in color, roughly three feet in length, but folded carefully, a thin ribbon with lightly frayed ends. No, it didn’t look dangerous at all, but when Teddy set his fingertips against the box, he could feel the magic, the power, that made his fingers almost burn. They didn’t know what it was, what it was supposed to do, who made it or why. So Teddy had taken it home, grabbed every book he could on magic infused cloth and clothes, and settled down in his living room. That’s where he was sitting when the floo came to life, flames lashing up before spitting out five foot seven inches of Quidditch Chaser with a cocky grin.

“Evening Teddy!”

Teddy lifted his eyes from the faded pages of an old journal about weaving protective spells into wizard robes, greeting James with a smile of his own.

“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had practice today?”

“Mate it’s nearly midnight.”

“What?” Teddy slowly closed the journal. “What are you doing at my house at midnight? Did something happen? Are you okay? Is Harry okay?”

James just laughed. “Calm down, everything’s fine. We haven’t heard from you in days is all, and last time that happened you passed out in the middle of the Ministry, so dad and aunt ‘Mione asked me to come check in on you. Dad probably would have, you know how he is, but he’s been busy too. I said I’d stop by.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Teddy chided, setting the book down on the coffee table and trying not to feel endeared at the fact James was worried about him. “I’m alright.” 

“Sure mate, I believe you,” James said, stopping on the other side of the coffee table with his hands up, “but that’s just me. Dad on the other hand sent me with a list,” and he reached down, pulling out a folded paper from the front pocket in his jeans and holding it up with his usual flare that had Teddy snorting.

“You’re kidding me.”

“Not even a little.”

“You don’t need to-”

“Stuff it Tedward, I had to sit through it while dad told me what to write down, you have to sit through it too.” James cleared his throat. “Item number one, have you eaten?”

“Please tell me this is a joke.”

“Should I mark it no?”

“I’ve eaten.”

“Have you properly hydrated? Those are the exact words he used, Ted.”

“Yes.”

“Have you bathed?”

“Yes.”

“Changed into clean clothes?”

“Yes.”

“Rested? He means sleep by the way, have you actually slept?”

“Yes.”

“Are you lying?”

“No, James gimme that.” Teddy stood and grabbed the paper from him, shaking his head at the list that had at least ten more items in it. “Guy blacks out one time in the food court and it’s the apocalypse.”

“You can’t blame them. I’m worried too.”

Teddy almost thought better of looking at James, but his curiosity won him over and he looked up from the paper to meet the intense brown eyes that always seemed to make it hard for him to breathe. Honestly, did this this idiot know what he did to Teddy?

“This job of yours is really debilitating, it drains you more than any job you’ve ever had before. You already blacked out once because you pushed yourself too hard, and the work itself is some of the most dangerous in the entire Ministry. We’re worried about you.”

“It only drains me because I’m not fully used to it yet.” Teddy was quick to defend, setting the paper on the coffee table and holding his hands up. “I’m getting better. I really like this job, Jamie, I’m doing good work and learning amazing stuff. Sure I may have completely lost consciousness while standing and slept three days straight because I hadn’t taken a break or even a nap in six days, but I’m much better at managing my time now, and my supervisor has been keeping an eye on me-”

“Yea, yea, yea.” James waved a hand, looking away. “I believe you, Lupin. So are you going to offer me some tea or coffee? Some snacks maybe?”

Teddy shrugged and turned. “Of course, make yourself at home,” he had a half smile on his lips as he made his way towards the kitchen. “You practically live here anyway.”

“I’d apologize but I’m not sorry!” James called after, and Teddy laughed.

“I should get you a key to the front door already. How’s your work been? How’s training?”

“Exhausting, but it can’t be worse than what your dumbass is doing.”

There was a pause as Teddy pulled down a tin of tea from the cupboard, setting it on the counter before going back for coffee mugs. There was a half pot of burnt coffee sitting to the side, but Teddy wasn’t going to send James home hyped off caffeine, and he himself needed to sleep soon anyway, it was midnight after all, so tea it would be.

“Just got the last pieces of my required uniform,” James picked up again, and Teddy hummed, even though James probably couldn’t hear him. “Still not crazy on the colors, but I guess they’ll do.”

“Just remember to keep an eye out when you’re playing,” Teddy warned. “The Falcons are famous for playing rough, and National games are more violent than Hogwarts anyway.”

“I already know that, Teddy, you don’t have to baby me about it,” there was a high to his tone, annoyance, but Teddy wasn’t surprised.

He was only eighteen, but James had developed a kind of complex about people noting his young age. He was technically an adult after all, he even had a job, and was searching for a place to stay so he could move out of his parents house and be independent. Teddy was proud of him, but his worry wasn’t spurred by a misguided belief that James was somehow still just a baby. Teddy just worried about everyone.

Still, it seemed like he must have offended James somehow, so he sighed, pouring hot water into the two mugs and thinking of what to say to apologize as he balanced them in his hands and started back for the living room.

“Hey, Jamie, you know I’m not warning you because I think you’re a kid. You’re young, but you’re grown enough,” Teddy started, eyes down to keep himself from spilling. “I just don’t want to see you hurt, okay? I don’t know what I’d do if something happened…”

“Ted…,” James’ voice was soft. “I know, Teddy. I’m sorry, I just… I know.”

Teddy shook his head. “Never mind that. How’s everything else been? How are Lily and Albus?”

James was starting a response when Teddy finally stopped and lifted his head from the cups of tea. The younger man was saying something about Lily getting in a fistfight and chopping her hair off before the Hogwarts semester, but Teddy didn’t hear him as the sound of water roared into his ears, and his tedious attempts to not spill any hot water became insignificant as he dropped both cups. One shattered on the floor, the second broke on the coffee table and soaked several important looking documents, but Teddy was focused entirely on James.

He was gaping at Teddy in shock, there was an open box on the table, and the red ribbon Teddy had been studying was hanging in James’ right hand.

“Ted, fuck, are you okay?! Did you burn yourself?”

“James,” Teddy carefully, slowly raised his hands, his posture cautious, eyes locked on the ribbon like it was an explosive. “Jamie. James. What did you do?”

“What?” James’ worry had faded to puzzlement. “Do?”

“That thing…”

“Oh, right, it was just sitting here-”

“James what have I fucking told you about touching shit in my house?”

James looked dumbfounded, morphing to a blend of irritation and panic, because Teddy never talked like that. “What are you going off for? It’s just some stupid ribbon!”

“That is an artifact from work, James, it’s dangerous!”

“Why’s it on your fucking coffee table?!”

“I was researching it to figure out what the bloody hell it was!”

“You don’t even know what it is?!”

“No, James, that’s why they gave it to me, to figure it the fuck out!”

“Well fuck, am I gonna fucking die?!”

“Why would I know that, you dumbass?!” Teddy took a sharp breath in, running his hands through his hair, staring at the ribbon hanging innocently between James’ fingers. “Okay don’t panic-”

“That’s exactly what you say to make people panic!”

“Can it! Let me think! Maybe you can just …  just put it back, maybe it’s not as powerful as I thought. Maybe it’s just the box that’s magic infused and the ribbon is just… just a ribbon. Yea, this is fine, just don’t move, okay?”

Teddy shifted around, side stepping closer to the coffee table and reaching down to pick up the box, standing slowly as he lifted it.

“Okay, slowly, place it back onto the pillow.”

“Wait if the box is what’s magic should you be touching it?”

“We’re well past that, Jamie, just put it in the box.”

James inhaled shakily as he held his right wrist in his left hand like he was bracing against a spell, easing the ribbon down towards the box as Teddy raised the box up to meet him. They were both holding their breath, and when James had the last piece of the ribbon sitting in the box, they breathed a sigh of relief, looking at each other and laughing anxiously.

James cursed. “You prick, I really thought I might die for a minute there.”

Teddy laughed. “Actually I was worried about that too, but it seems everything is fine no-”

The universe didn’t even let Teddy finish before proving him wrong. The box in his hand seemed to burn, and he cursed as he released it, but when it fell and clattered against the coffee table, the ribbon hovered. It moved like it was possessed, both ends flinging out like it was a living thing. Teddy cursed colorfully in both English and Welsh as the strip of cloth that looked so silky smooth before wound around his wrist like a vice of course fraying rope that burned into his skin.

James was in the same boat, yelping as the ribbon wrapped itself around his left wrist and arm, winding tight around both of them like it was a Boa Constrictor, only letting up when they’d been yanked closer together. Then it stopped, but one pull at it told Teddy all he needed to know. They were stuck like this.

“Oh Merlin…”

“What?!” James yanked on his right arm, eyes wide and cheeks flush. “What happened?!”

“I don’t know, stop moving!” Teddy reached over with his right hand to stop James, flexing the fingers of his left hand that was bound to James’ right. “Shit, it’s not letting up.”

“Okay, I’m not freaked out by this or anything, but are we gonna die?”

“I… I don’t know. Just don’t panic.”

“No of course, why would anyone panic in this situation?”

“I told you to put it down, I have told you countless times that if you were going to visit, that you couldn’t just touch everything!”

“Well don’t just yell at me about it! How was I supposed to know?! It was a ribbon in a bloody box! I thought it was just a decoration!”

“James why in the name of Godric would I have a ribbon in a box decorating my bloody coffee table?!”

“You’re a weird guy, Teddy, I don’t know what you do in your free time, the oddities you might collect, maybe you like to display vintage ribbons, I’m not judging!”

“Would you shut up?!” Teddy snapped. “Just let me think!”

James listened, kept his lips tightly sealed as he glared anxiously at the ribbon around his wrist and arm. Teddy did his best to assess the situation, tugging at the material and sighing. Whatever this thing was, it had wrapped around his wrist before winding down his arm to his elbow. His left arm was now bound to James’ right, where he was in the same situation with the ribbon. It seemed magically stuck, it wouldn’t loosen or come away, even the ends that hung at their elbows wouldn’t peel up.

“Alright. There’s procedures we have to take when something like this happens,” Teddy explained, his right hand still holding the ends of the ribbon. “Come around the table, stand next to me so we aren’t leaning awkwardly towards each other.”

James shuffled on his feet to get around the table, standing shoulder to shoulder with Teddy and slowly sitting down together as Teddy continued to eye the stupid thing.

“Alright, are you in any pain?” James shook his head. “Is the material burning you or itching or-”

“There’s no pain, I can’t even feel it,” James insisted. “I just can’t move it.”

“Me either,” Teddy sighed, leaning back. James slumped back with him, unable to do much else, their arms hanging between them as they both stared dumbstruck at the wall.

Teddy could feel the back of his hand pressed against James, could feel the warmth of his skin, in fact it was almost too warm, but that probably was just him. Touching, being close to James like this, was something he tried to avoid. Teddy had a good handle on his self control for the most part, but he’d be lying if he said there weren’t moments he nearly grabbed James by the face and kissed him in front of everyone.

He could’ve been magically glued to anyone else and it would have been fine. Why did it have to be the one person he’d been crushing hard on since he was seventeen, left Hogwarts, and claimed he was going to be more famous a Quidditch player than his mum had been, with the air and confidence of a man who’d already won the World Cup?

“So what do we do?” James asked. “Got some scissors lying around this mess somewhere?”

“Jamie I really don’t think scissors are going to win this match.”

“Worth a shot.”

Teddy wanted to argue, but at this point what other choice did they have? Teddy knew next to nothing about this thing, so maybe all they had to do was snip it?

“They’re in the kitchen,” Teddy said, standing and hauling James up with him, stepping over the shattered porcelain tea cups. “Watch the cups.”

“Sorry about that tea.”

“There are more important things.”

The scissors didn’t work. In fact, when Teddy started to cut at the ribbon, the scent of burning metal overwhelmed them both, and he lifted the scissors up to reveal the ribbon had essentially eaten into and melted the blades.

“Scissors are a no go,” James muttered. “What about… wands?”

“You want me to try magically cutting this thing off? I could miss and cut you, or it could bounce off the ribbon-”

“Teddy what else are we supposed to do in this situation?!”

“Not freak out!” Teddy ran his hand through his hair again, then groaned. “Damn it. I’ve spent hours studying this stupid thing and I still haven’t got a clue what it is. We need to go back to the Ministry.”

“What for?” 

“My boss might know more about this kind of thing. Magic infused cloth, and it… somehow is capable of binding people together. It doesn’t hurt, but it won’t let go. Merlin’s sake.”

“Dad’s gonna kill me,” James lamented, staring at the ribbon. “If I miss practice my captain’s gonna kill me too.”

Teddy could only sigh in silent agreement.

[1-1snailxd-art]

Sides of a Hero

Chapter index -------------- Chapter 11

Chapter 12 - Let it go

Summary: Virgil and Patton arrive back in the common area to find Roman and Logan arguing; typical.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why did you let me do that?" "You looked like you were enjoying yourself, why would I stop you?"

"We had a job to do."

"Yeah, but..."

"But nothing. You were meant to be taking me to the mirror."

"We would have gotten there eventually." "Would we? It sure seemed like you were lost?" "I was not lost."

 Roman and Logan were once again so engrossed in their argument that they didn't sense Virgil and Patton's arrival. "Oh, I'm sorry. I could tell by the way you took us straight to the mirror, that you knew exactly where you were going."

"It is a really big castle, Organic Panic!" "Hey! You PROMISED not to mention that name again!"

"You were the one that was dancing around MY halls singing about it being your new name." "I was under the influence of YOUR room, YOU..."

"Woah, there. Chill out, L." Virgil raised an eyebrow at the unconventional argument between Logan and Roman. "You are seriously losing your mature vibe right now."

Logan was quick to compose himself and smoothed his tie down. "Yes. You are quite right, Virgil. I am above such pettiness."

Roman folded his arms and scoffed, "Mr Maturity was the one who started it." "And we are here to finish it." Patton added before Logan could fire back.

"Fine," Roman whined.

"I too, am willing to let the argument go," Logan added. "Roman, I forgive you for getting us lost while trying to locate the mirror."

Roman smiled, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Well in that case, I forgive you for performing..."

"Nope," Virgil cut Roman off. It was obvious that Logan had been influenced by Roman's room and done something he was clearly embarrassed about. As much as he enjoyed the banter, Virgil wasn't about to let Roman take it too far and push Logan over the edge. "Let it go, Princey."

 Roman looked at Virgil and sighed. "For real this time. Truce, Logan." Roman held his hand out to Logan and waited.

Logan accepted the gesture, "Truce."

"Well now, that is more like it," Patton smiled. "Nice work, Virgil."

"Thanks. Can I go now?" Virgil shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and took a few tentative steps back towards his door.

"Are you ok?" Roman asked, looking down at Virgil's arm where he had previously grabbed him. "I mean, is your arm ok now?"

"It's fine, Princey. It wasn't your fault. It was..." The words got caught in Virgil's throat as he realised how many bodies were present around him. Why can't I say it? I want to tell them now....I don't want to tell them though. Why is this still so hard?

Patton placed a hand on Virgil's shoulder and gave the side a reassuring smile.

 Just like a Band-Aid. Virgil dropped his head and kept his eyes fixated on the floor as he quickly pulled his sleeve up to reveal his bruised and scarred arm.

"I helped deal with Depression years ago. This scar is the seal that keeps him locked away." Logan and Roman stared in stunned silence. Easy enough to say. Now to shut down any further questioning while I'm on a roll. "I was weak from getting us away from the impulses at the cliff; hence the easy bruising. It's no big deal, you just grabbed the wrong arm... Don't over think this too much, it's fine. I'm fine. Nothing needs to change."

Roman breathed a sigh of relief, nudged Logan's arm and whispered, "I really hate you right now."

 "This is fascinating," Logan left Roman chuckling to himself and reached out to inspect Virgil's arm. Careful not to be too firm or touch Virgil's scars in any way, Logan let his eyes take in all aspects of the seal. "Such a simple design. It appears to be burnt onto your skin. Some of these marks are less raised. Is this an indication of the seals strength or of aging?"

"Umm, it's just an aging thing." Virgil retracted his arm and pulled his sleeve back down. "Soooo, you are all satisfied now, right? I can go and try and get back to normality?"

Logan opened his mouth to question Virgil further, but Patton and Roman quickly stood in front of him.

"Absolutely." "You deserve a break, Kiddo." Virgil smiled and was just about to vanish when Patton spoke up again. "Just remember, we are here if you need us."

Virgil nodded and vanished back into his room.

 "I take it this means you and Virgil had an informative meeting, Patton." Logan enquired, causing Patton and Roman to turn around.

Patton nodded enthusiastically, "Yeppers. It was hard to hear, but I think I understand what happened."

Logan and Roman exchanged a glance as Patton started moving towards his door. "Well?" they said in unison.

"What?" Patton turned and looked at the other sides in confusion.

Logan slammed the palm of his hand on his forehead and made an exasperated sound. "Really, Patton? Care to share with the class?"

"Yeah, Padre. Did you find out about Envy? Or Anger Management? Or Mr Slithers?"

"Oh," Patton turned to face his friends; a serious expression on his usually happy face. "Yes. Virgil was telling the truth, Roman. Envy isn't involved."

"But, Lust said..." Patton shook his head, "Trust me, Roman. Based on what Virgil told me, Envy isn't around anymore."

Roman looked away as he began to comprehend what Patton was saying; Envy was either part of a fusion or had faded. Now he felt really bad for arguing with Virgil earlier.

 "What about Rage and Deceit, Patton. Were you able to acquire any further information on Deceit and Rage's motives?"

"Weeell," Patton fidgeted with his cardigan as he considered Logan's question. "I'm not, um... Entirely sure. I think this is something that has been happening for a while. From what Virgil said, he lied to them and I think they feel betrayed."

"So, they've been messing with Virgil these past few years because of that?" Roman moved to lean against his door and did his best to process everything he had learned recently.

Logan tapped at his chin thoughtfully, "Do you think they intend on harming Virgil or doing anything that may cause Thomas harm?"

Shaking his head, Patton took a deep breath. "I don't think so. They helped seal Depression away to keep Thomas safe. I can't see them doing anything to hurt him. They may still mess with Virgil though." "So we should probably keep an eye on that. Rage did fuse with me, in what we can assume, was one of his intended games with Virgil."

"I still haven't paid him back for that," growled Roman.

"No need for that, Roman. No harm was really done. Logan was fine in the end and we don't want to make this worse."

"I agree with Patton." "So again, you expect me to sit back and just let this stuff happen? Is that your big plan?"

"Yes." Logan turned to head towards his own door.

"I mean, maybe Virgil will talk to us more about this stuff now.” Patton gave Roman a reassuring smile. “We can keep an eye on him, but I don't think we should get between them. Virgil might not like that... Not right now anyway."

"Alright. But if either of those two should show their faces to me, then I won't hesitate to give them a piece of my mind."

"Sounds super, Roman."  

The three sides went their separate ways, feeling like they understood the situation a lot better now and the common area was once again left empty. Logan lent against his closed door and stared at the back wall of his small room; hoping Patton's assumptions were correct. It made sense that Deceit and Rage wouldn't wish to harm Thomas based on their past behaviour, but he couldn't shake a small feeling that something was amiss.

"Don't jump to any conclusions," he reminded himself out loud as he headed towards his library. "Focus on the facts; nothing else."

 ****************************************************************************************

 Virgil flopped onto his bed and opened his mind to roam around the room.

Spiders are fine… Depression's cage is still sealed…. shadows doing their usual thing… puddle of black goo in the corner...

His eyes flew open and Virgil sat up, staring at the corner of his room where he had sensed the puddle.

What the heck is that?

Moving with caution, Virgil made his way over to inspect the liquid; careful not to touch the unknown substance.

Seriously, what is this stuff?

Touch it and find out.

Well because you told me too, I am definitely NOT going anywhere near it.

Too bad. I really wanted to see what would happen. Good to have you back old friend. I missed feeling your presence here.

The feeling is mutual.

 Moving back to his bed, Virgil leant back and contemplated going to sleep; mulling over the multiple possibilities.

I've slept a lot lately, I probably shouldn't sleep anymore…. But I am still really drained.

The seal is weaker now and I need to be more vigilant…... But vigilance is pointless if I’m too tired to sense anything.

If I go to sleep in here, Depression could give me another nightmare…. But he probably used a lot of his energy forcing the last one and is still recovering.

I should use this time now to regain strength, so I am ready for the next thing. Thomas needs me at my best.

 Sleep won in the end; he couldn't be denied forever. Depression laid on the floor of his cage, humming a tune to himself and doing his best to reach out to Virgil. He could sense the side sleeping; mind blank and void of memories.

What a shame. No show for me right now. I guess I might need to work on a show of my own.

 ******************************************************************************************

 Thomas spent the next few days filming with Camden, Talyn and Joan for a new Joystick Joyride series; giving the sides plenty of alone time. Virgil did his best to return to his normal routines, while working out a way to strengthen Depression's seal. He could now see Lust and Ego's marks again, but they were barely raised above his skin.

I can't ask anyone else to add another seal, that wouldn't be fair.

Virgil settled on trying to draw a seal on Depression's door, the same one he had used to cut himself off from Thomas.

Do you really think that will work, Anxiety?

Worth a shot.

That simple little trick won't work. Don't foo...

Virgil drew the final line of his triangular pattern and Depression's voice was cut off. He froze in pure shock.

Surely it wasn't that easy. No fucken way it was THAT easy.

He didn't want to believe it, but as the hours went by and Depression remained silent, he had no choice but to believe it.

 Patton, Logan and Roman gave Virgil his space as promised and visited Thomas singularly to fill him in on the recent events. While he was initially upset, Thomas came around and decided to work with Roman to start planning a new script.

"Maybe I should work on a more in-depth arc for Deceit? Perhaps something with a little redemption? What do you think, Roman?"

"Hmm. While I don’t think he really deserves it, it could work. Viewers love a good redemption arc." Roman scratched at his chin thoughtfully and paced around the room. "How would we do it though? Which style would be the best? Loki? Professor SNAPE? ZUKO?"

"Woah there, Kiddo's." Patton rose up into the room, putting a stop to Roman's increasing excitement. "Don't get too far ahead of yourselves. Shouldn't we consult Deceit, or at least Virgil, before we start a complex story line like this."

Roman made a loud whining sound, "But I just had so many good ideas."

"But Patton isn't saying that they are necessarily 'bad' ideas," Thomas placed an arm around Roman's shoulders. "You can still write them down, but... We might just have to hold off on using them for a bit. Just until we've consulted with Virgil...and Deceit."

 An alert on Thomas' computer drew the groups attention. Thomas moved to read the email that had come through and his emotional response brought Logan and Virgil to the room. Logan appeared with a notebook in his hand, while Virgil flopped to the ground dripping wet and looking extremely annoyed.

"What on earth happened to you?" Roman enquired, hiding a snicker at the sight of the wet side.

Groaning, Virgil sat up and snapped back into dry attire. "I got wet." "How does reading an email cause someone to become so wet. It isn't logical."

Patton gasped, "Did you fall into…"  

 "Forget about that," Virgil was quick to cut Patton off. He didn't want to admit that the email had stressed him out so much that he had slipped into the stream. "Thomas, cannot go to that event." "On the contrary, I believe his attendance would be quite beneficial." Logan sat on the lounge and continued writing in his notebook.

Patton looked up from the computer where he and Roman were reading the email, "It sure looks like fun, but what is an influencer?"  

"Influencer is becoming a common term for online personalities with large social media followings." commented Logan, "Thomas certainly qualifies as one and he could always benefit from learning..."

"Think of all the collaborations we could organise at an event like that!" Roman was buzzing with excitement at the idea of being able to create multiple new videos with other creators.

 Thomas watched as Roman, Logan and Patton continued to express their excitement over the email. A simple invitation to an influencers event in Los Angeles had three of the sides overflowing with excitement, curiosity and creativity; yet Thomas did not want to go at all.  

"It all sounds stupid to me."

Everyone turned to look at Virgil who was hanging upside down from the lounge. Virgil closed his eyes and vanished to appear back on the stairs; hoodie up over his head and in defensive mode. Although Depression was silent, he could feel the shadows reaching out to him from his room; fuelling his fear and uncertainty.

 ******************************************************************************************

 Rage stood in one of Roman's rooms breathing heavily after running from Estelle and two other guard dragons. Roman believed his maze of a room would make it harder for impulses to influence him and Thomas, when in fact it just made it easier for Rage to escape detection. The walls were lined with mirrors of different shapes and sizes, reflecting Rage around the room from multiple angles.

Focusing hard, a wall of mirrors shifted to reflect Thomas' lounge room and the visiting sides. Rage chuckled at the sight of Virgil's wet form lying on the floor.

"Looking good as always, Anxiety."

Rage sat on the ground and lent back against one of the mirrors, feeling himself connect with Roman. The link was small, but enough for Rage to get a good show.

 Behind him, Ego and Lust's forms were briefly reflected in the mirror; smiling at their old friend. Rage caught a glimpse of the two impulses before they faded and smiled.

"Good to know you two are happy and still watching out for me. Are you ready for a bit of fun?"

"It all sounds stupid to me."

Virgil's words echoed around the room and Rage smiled, pushing his influence on Roman and enjoying the rush of having some control.

 *******************************************************************************************

 Roman eyed Virgil, "Haven't you been listening? We could meet new people to make videos with."

"Yeah, and we would make a fool out of ourselves in front of every one of them." How can we keep up with all the new creators out there?

"Think about the new followers we could get. We could inspire so many more people."

Roman moved from the lounge to stand in front of Virgil, looking down at the grumpy side. Virgil stood up, not liking Roman's intimidating stance.

"Inspire more people to hate on Thomas and his friends."

"Are you serious?"

"Do I need Logan's necktie on to prove I'm being serious?"

"Can't you contribute anything positive, Invader Grim?"

"It isn't all sunshine and rainbows, Gir."

"Are you comparing me to a dumb robot?"

"You said it, not me."

Virgil frowned at Roman, watching his fist clench in anger. Rage snuck into Roman's room again. So much for his great defences.

 "Aw, somebody needs a hug!" Patton threw his arms around Virgil and Roman and pulled the three of them together.

"Surprisingly, I'm not enjoying this sudden physical contact." Virgil pushed away from the other two, his voice thick with sarcasm.

Patton pulled Roman back towards the lounge, "Sorry for invading your space, Kiddos, but both of you need to settle down."

Roman grumbled under his breath and sat on the lounge in a huff, arms tightly folded.

"Thanks, Patton." Thomas smiled at his moral side, "But Virgil has some good points."

 Finally closing his notebook, Logan adjusted his glasses and spoke up. "We should listen to Virgil's concerns, in a civilised manner, and work with him to ensure the best outcome for Thomas."

"What about MY concerns?" grumbled Roman, looking at Logan. "The more social Thomas is, the more followers we gain. The more followers we gain..."

"The more people can dislike and complain about the content." I really don't want to deal with a large social event right now. Not after everything that has happened.

 "For the love of Disney! What is your problem?" Roman's voice increased in volume as he continued to allow Rage to influence him.

"What's your problem? I'm not the one yelling." Please let it go, Roman. Are you too thick to sense Rage's influence?

"I'm not yelling! I'm speaking at an appropriately reasonable level to get my point through your thick skull."

"Reasonably irritating."

Thomas, Patton and Logan were at a loss as the two sides continued their argument.

 "All we have done lately is listen to YOU!" Virgil felt his heart start to race; Thomas' did the same.

"Pander to YOUR needs!"

Rage was laughing hysterically in Roman’s room, watching Virgil on the verge of panic; oblivious to how the exchange was affecting Thomas. He continued to push his own anger towards Virgil into the room and Roman spoke impulsively, unable to consider how his words were affecting those around him.

 "We worry about YOUR wellbeing! YOU! YOU! YOU! Stop being so selfish!"

"Enough!" Logan and Patton yelled. Patton stood in front of Roman, blocking his view of Virgil; while Logan did the same for the other side.

Resting his hands on Virgil's shoulders, Logan set to work on calming the side down.

Breathe. Get it back together... For Thomas' sake.

"What is going on with you guys?" Thomas' voice came out small, as he looked between the frustrated creative side and the trembling anxious side. "There... There isn't any need for this much anger."

 Roman's eyes flashed gold and Estelle crashed into the room where Rage was hiding. Rage smiled at the dragon, knowing Roman was looking through Estelle's eyes. The impulse vanished; fleeing the room and returning safely to neutral territory. Getting into Roman’s room may have been bothersome, but thankfully leaving was extremely easy for him.

Closing his eyes and bowing his head, Roman sighed. "I... I'm sorry about that. It would seem I neglected to notice the presence of Rage in my room."

Thomas and Patton both pulled Roman into a tight hug and smothered him with reassuring comments. Logan sat on the step next to Virgil and looked down at the anxious side in confusion.

"You knew Rage was in Roman's room, didn't you?" Virgil nodded. "Why did you feed into him instead of saying something?"

Sighing deeply into his hoodie, Virgil looked up at Logan from his hunched position. "Rage only enhances what we are already feeling. Roman needed to get that off his chest. He's feeling neglected." Well, Ego was feeling neglected.

Logan adjusted his glasses, "Ok. Are you ready to find an appropriate solution to this problem?”

"As I'll ever be."

 "Now that we have gotten all of the 'feelings' out of the way, may we return the discussion to the matter at hand." All eyes turned to Logan as he stood in the centre of the room. "First point of business, Thomas, do you want to attend this event?"

Looking away, Thomas thought hard about the event and all the possible benefits Patton, Logan and Roman had mentioned earlier. "Yes. It would be great to catch up with people and meet new creators-um, 'influencers' and stuff."

"Ok then. Now, I can see Virgil's concerns. At this stage, you don't know many others who will be attending and that is a lot of 'strangers' to deal with. A high concentration of individuals causes Virgil, and therefore Thomas, higher levels of distress. We need to lower this for Thomas to be able to enjoy the event fully and not exhaust Virgil."

"Why don't we just invite our friends to join us."

"Brilliant, Patton. We know how the familiar presence of friends helps Virgil feel more at ease."

"Logan! Patton! That is perfect." Thomas beamed and looked towards the stairs were Virgil was still leaning casually against the wall. "Does that work for you, Virge?"

"Whatever," he shrugged and pushed his hands deep into his pockets. "I guess I can deal with that."

"Well ok then. Another problem solved. I should probably get back to work now guys."

 Logan adjusted his glasses, "Glad we could help."

"Sounds like a plan," Roman smiled at Thomas. "Well, TTFN."

Roman started to sink out of the room when Patton called out, "Ta Ta Fairy Narwals."

"What are you talking about?" Roman asked, rising back up into the room.

Logan rubbed at his eyebrows, "In what universe does that make any sense?"

Patton shrugged, "Makes sense to me," and sunk out.

"Even I can't imagine what that is." Roman sunk out and attempted to picture what features a Fairy Narwal would have.

"Sometimes I wonder if Roman is really the source of all of my creativity,” Thomas thought out loud. “I wonder what it would be like if Patton had full creative control."

"For the sake of my sanity," Logan started to sink out. "Please don't ever give Patton creative control." Thomas laughed at looked over at Virgil, who was still sitting on the stairs. "Are you ok, Virge?"

"I'll be fine, Thomas. I just need time to...process this."

"Ok. Yeah...that's reasonable. It will be ok though, you'll see. I'll go get my friends on board and it will be a great event."

Virgil forced a smile and nodded. I guess it will be ok. It usually is. "See ya, Thomas," he gave him a small wave before sinking out to his room.

 *****************************************************************************************

 Thomas organised his trip to LA with Joan, Talyn and Camden; as much as he wished more of his friends would come, the timing just wasn’t in their favour.  With Depression being so silent, Virgil kept his worries under control and Logan was able to come up with a counter for all his concerns. They were all set for a problem free trip; the perfect recipe for everything to go wrong.

 "I will admit, I did not consider the possibility that Joan and Talyn would both fall ill or that Camden's family would require him so urgently."

The four sides sat in the common room, watching over Thomas as he listened to music alone on the flight to LA. The empty seats served as a reminder of how alone he was, and he was thankful that this was only going to be a short trip.

"I didn't consider it either, Logan.” Virgil lied, closing his eyes and leaning back into his bean bag. “I thought of everything else but this."

Having none of Thomas’ friends around was so unlikely the Virgil hadn’t even mentioned it out loud. He breathed deeply through his nose to try and quell his racing heart as the plane rocked with mild turbulence.  

"Cheer up you two." Patton smiled, throwing a cookie over to Virgil. "I'm sure it will work out just fine. How many times has Thomas flown solo before?"

"One too many," Virgil grumbled and shoved the cookie in his mouth.

"Yeees. Well, then that means that this could still be a great weekend. We'll make new friends..."

"Get new ideas for videos..."

"Learn something new..." "Ok. Ok. I get it." Virgil stood up and dusted cookie crumbs off his hoodie. "I'll keep it in check... In my room."

"You sure you're ok, Virge?" Roman asked, shifting on the lounge to see Virgil better.

The creative side still felt guilty for his outburst a week ago, and nothing he had said or done lately seemed to be helping him feel better. Planning for the trip had provided a good distraction, but in the end the feeling remained.

Virgil gave his friends a reassuring smile, "A-O-K. Been fine for a while now. Catch you later." He vanished to his room, happy to avoid further discussion and focus on keeping calm and in control for Thomas' sake.

Chapter index ------------------- next chapter 

[solia-dreams]

Endings

17th January, 2013

The writing had always been on the wall, maybe since the first time she stepped into the basement office and shook his hand. In that moment, he'd both anticipated it and wondered how he might accelerate the inevitable – how quickly could he irritate, scare or otherwise deter the Bureau's handpicked goody-two-shoes?

He was glad now to have been so unsuccessful, to have sold her so far short, but ignoring the writing, even seeming to defy it for a blink or a lifetime or however long had passed, had not scrubbed the wall clean. The writing was still there, crisp like fresh ink in every argument, in every frustrated sigh, in every missed dinner, in every relieved smile and demand of "Where have you been?! I was worried." He saw it between the lines of blog posts he was still reading at 4am while she slept in the next room; he saw it in the barcodes of boarding passes as he took his seat on a last-minute whirlwind flight he'd forgotten to tell her about; he saw it in the hours she clocked up on her payslip.

Like all the best improbable scenarios, he wanted to believe. He was determined to believe that the writing and the wall could be beaten. Whenever he caught it out of the corner of his eye, which was less often than it should have been, in honesty – he definitely missed a lot of the wall's appearances, too distracted – he tried to jump on the opportunity to fight the inevitable.

To call home.

To switch off the computer and go to bed.

To make dinner.

And maybe those efforts were what staved it off, but retrospect gave him a brutal new perspective of his own flaws and the part they'd always played. His forgetfulness. His obsessive drive. His fundamental capacity to take her for granted.

So there was no shock for him when he saw the suitcase at the door and determined resignation in dry blue eyes.

He could have begged. Maybe he should have. But he'd known her for so long, pushed her so far, that he knew when not to bother, and he knew there was no winning this round. It had already been fought in the days, hours, minutes that he'd not been present, not been where he should have been, and nobody had won.

She swallowed and straightened when he stepped out of the bathroom, still towelling his hair. He froze, not because he was shocked but because why now, and he urgently thought through recent events to try and pinpoint the triggering moment. He'd forgotten to load the dishwasher, again. He'd spent money without asking her first, trying to get stolen military satellite images from a shady source he was sure she'd rather not know about. He'd forgotten to come to bed last night. He'd wasted the last three years of her life chasing after a 2012 conspiracy he was absolutely certain of that had, on the big night, turned out to be a total fizzer, and since then he'd been distant, moody, difficult, tense, frustrated, directionless.

So, nothing out of the ordinary.

Which meant, or at least so he deduced, that she'd finally worked out what he'd known all along: she was much too good for his shit, and she was done with it.

He was lucky to have had the years he'd gotten. He dropped his towel on the back of his armchair and she tightened her hand on the extended handle of her suitcase. He wondered vaguely what she'd decided to pack and what she'd decided to abandon, since less than half of her things could fit inside that. Starting over, clean and free. Like she deserved.

Later he'd wonder if she wanted him to beg, wanted him to plead, but he knew in the moment it wasn't going to stop her leaving so he chose to skip to the next line: "Where will you go?"

Deep eyes he would have comfortably looked into for the rest of his life briefly reflected her sharp hurt, then cooled instantly, and he knew it was the wrong thing to say. She shifted a little closer to the suitcase, like it was structural in keeping her upright.

"My mom's, to start with," she answered, very steadily, too steadily. She'd practised this monotone. This had been a long time coming. Not surprising. Her mouth twitched very slightly when she tried to close her lips, when she tried to finish speaking, but the rest of the words wanted to come. Conflicted, not wanting to elaborate but feeling somehow compelled, she added, "Then back to DC somewhere, I suppose."

Unable to break the habit of being clear and honest with him? Or just needing to be clear and honest in that she was leaving for real, and this was no weekend stay at her mother's? Either way, could she be any more carelessly hurtful?

"That'll shorten the commute," he offered emotionlessly. In his ears, over the sound of blood erratically rushing through their vessels, his voice sounded alien, not his. It was the voice of someone distant and uninvested, someone who didn't care for the opinion or favour of the person they were speaking to. That was the furthest possible place from the truth – that his chest hurt with every breath that brought him closer to the inevitable, that his brain was on fire running in circles trying to find a solution, that his throat was tight with unspoken words of anger and regret. But none of this was conveyed in the voice he heard, and none of this was conveyed to the face he had loved for so many of his years when she nodded slowly, resignedly.

"I suppose," she said again. She watched him for a few moments in silence, and he held her gaze, almost in challenge. What was she waiting for? For him to dissolve and break? No, he wasn't going to let her see that. Part of him didn't want to give her the satisfaction.

The other part didn't want to sway her resolve. She deserved to do this. It would be easier if it was clean. If he begged… if he cried, made her see how much he adored her, how much he needed her… if he won her back in this moment, it would be a mistake. He would only lose her again tomorrow, next week, next year, when he fucked up again.

No. He held her gaze, waiting her out, no expression to let her see into the cracks that were opening up inside him, no words to give away the voices that were screaming around his head. Hers was the loudest. You should have seen this coming. You could have changed your patterns of behaviour at any time. You knew what you had and now it's walking out.

"I, uh, I made a casserole," she said awkwardly, dropping her gaze. "To get you through the next couple of nights. It's in the fridge."

She'd been very prepared. He tried not to let that sting. It didn't, really; just reverberated against his hollowed heart, another dull throb to join the dull throb of his heartbeat.

"You don't think I can cook for myself?" It came out like an accusation, colder than he meant. Her eyes came back up to his.

"I know you can't," she replied calmly, and he allowed himself a small smile, because no one had ever known him better, no one had ever been this good for him and he'd ruined it. Even now he was letting it slide straight through his fingers. He closed his fist as though it could make a difference now, and felt his smile turn icy. Frozen and brittle, because if he didn't freeze it, it would melt down his face to the floor where he would join it.

"Well, I guess I'll have to learn," he responded in the same calm tone. Her lips thinned visibly, guilted, and while he so badly wanted her to change her mind right now he also so badly wanted her to stand her ground. Be the strong woman he knew she was. Get what she was owed after all these years, and strike back at the narcissistic, self-loathing creature she'd selflessly shackled herself to out of misplaced love and loyalty. He swallowed. It hurt. Keep it professional. "I'll forward your mail to Maggie's, then?"

She nodded quickly, following his lead back to the cool professionalism that would characterise their relationship for years to come. "Yes, please." She looked around the house, sucking her lower lip into her mouth as she tried to decide how to say the next bit. "I left everything I have so far on Harris on the kitchen table. I hope… I hope you find what you're looking for."

On your own. It was implicit, underneath her words, and he felt his cheeks redden with shame and realisation. This time, she wasn't going with him chasing shadows and unexplained flashes in the night. Finally, he'd burnt her out, and that night was the turning point. Harris, one of his contacts, had been instrumental in helping him pin down Billings, Montana, as a likely site of the invasion he'd spent so many years anticipating, but since December, he'd gone silent. No one from the conspiracy forum circuit seemed to know what had happened to him.

And, eyes dull and voice weary, his FBI girlfriend had agreed to run down some leads at work for him. If he'd been paying attention, he'd have seen that writing again, neon-bright – the same old wall, with the same message he'd been outrunning since day one in the basement.

I hope you find what you're looking for. He smiled again, brittle and forced again. He said, "Yeah, me too," instead of "I don't need to look. I've already got it," and shoved his hands into his pockets so he couldn't extend them to her. He kept his feet planted firmly. He watched her face, loving every curve and every line, and closed his hands into fists inside his pockets in an inner fight against the desire to cup her face with his palms and kiss her and tell her… tell her what? To stay? To put up with more? He wished he could ask that, and promise in return that he would make the changes in himself that he wanted to make to deserve her, but if he could have made those changes he would have. No. He'd done this to them. Later, later he could be mad with her, blame her for leaving him when he still needed her, believe that she played a part in breaking them or that she was weak and let him down, but right now, in the sobering clarity of the moment of her departure, he knew the whole truth. This was his own fault.

He had done this, and he deserved the clawing ache in his chest, and she deserved all the wide world that waited for her outside that door, even if that truth made him want to cry.

He cleared his throat. "So, uh, you said 'so far' with Harris…?"

"I'm still waiting on one contact to get back to me," she agreed, normality relaxing her voice. It gave him a little spark of optimism. They made good partners, worked superbly together, and if this was all they had left when the romance and sex and love was stripped back, well, it was sure as shit better than what most people were left with. "I'll make sure I pass on whatever he tells me. Should I… post it to you? Would that be best?"

The optimism died in his stomach, and he felt himself deflate. He was lying to himself. Their working relationship had always been something to brag about, but in actual fact, if that was what was left over when their relationship ended – which was mere minutes away, waiting to be marked by the second she walked out that door, he was only prolonging the inevitable here – then it would not be good enough at all. More than her brilliant mind at work, more than her excellent body in his bed, more than her hand in his, what he loved most about her was her friendship. He could do without everything else. Christ, he'd done without the sex for months now, without realising, caught up with his work and frustrations of the mind. The real loss he stood to experience was the loss of his best friend, the soul he trusted above any others, the heart who knew his, the person who had stood at his side and had his back and pulled him out of more trouble over the years than anyone but a best friend could be expected to put up with.

His best friend was leaving, asking whether she could contact him via post from now on.

He hadn't just burnt his lover; he'd unwritten his deepest friendship. How long before he unwrote himself?

"Whatever you think's best," he answered coolly. "Should I do the same if I find work I think is more yours than mine?"

"My phone number won't change," she said, quite gently, quite kindly, and he wanted to rekindle that sparkle of optimism but he didn't dare. He smiled wryly at her.

"You know they're tapping that line."

Her restrained sigh was one of exaggerated patience with his paranoia, one of her least favourite of his qualities. "They're not tapping my phone. You can call me whenever. You know I'll answer."

"Do I?" He couldn't help a deliberate glance down at her heavy-looking suitcase, the elephant in the room both had managed to avoid directly addressing. Her hand tightened again on the handle and her expression closed further. Eyes sharpening. Mouth thinning. The longer they stood here, the further away he drove her, and neither was even moving.

"I'm telling you I will," she said steadily, without warmth, "if it ever occurs to you to call."

Ouch. His surgeon cut through the pretence with medical precision and shone her harsh penlight straight at the malignant mass of brutal truth at the heart of this breakdown, and he felt the slice like it was made with a real knife.

"Neither will mine," he said finally, when he was certain his legs weren't going to give out beneath him. It had just struck him that this was really happening. She was really going. After all this time, this was happening. "My number."

She laughed, surprised. "Mulder, your phone number always changes."

"Not this one." He'd been prepared, too. Knowing this was coming. He unrooted his feet and made himself walk towards her, hoping his gait looked natural and comfortable, two things he felt anything but. "Give me your phone."

She was reluctant but produced her cell from inside her jacket and placed it without question in his hand when he stopped in front of her. He tried not to wonder whether he'd chosen an appropriate distance for exes. That's what they were about to be. He tried further not to wonder whether he would always notice how pliant she was with him, how her blind trust in him had not faded, how normal it still seemed despite their in-process breakup for her to do as he asked. Would that change next time he saw her? Would she question him where she hadn't before, be wary of him, refuse where once she would have followed without thought? Would he know her like he did in this moment?

Did he know her in this moment like he did in moments before? His Scully had never left him. He raised his eyes from her phone as he worked to survey her quickly. He saw the writing on the wall in the sad, tired lines around her eyes, in the red at their edges, and he saw the woman he'd loved and wanted and breathed for so damn long that he didn't even know how a future without her looked. He wanted to touch her hair and say this was a mistake; he wanted run his fingers across her lips and say he was sorry; he wanted stroke her cheek and promise that she'd adequately scared him and didn't need to go, that things could be different, he could change. Maybe it could be true. With her help maybe he could make it true.

But he handed her back the phone and let his heart crumple a little more at the sight of her wry smile to see the entry into her address book. "M. F. Luder," she read. She looked up at him sceptically, normalcy restored for a brief flicker that he cherished while it lasted. "Excellent cover. No one will ever guess that one."

"If you think of a better one, change it." He swallowed, wanting to prolong the normal, wanting to stretch out the gentle and the playful and the love for as long as he was allowed. "That number won't get recycled. That phone will always be charged up, always be switched on." He swallowed again. Say it. "For you."

It swayed her, he could tell, made the writing on the wall fade to the periphery. He saw her expressive blue eyes fill with regret and apology and saw her mouth open, struggling for words to say amidst her inner conflict. He knew her in this moment, he knew her fully. Her mind was saying go. Her heart was tugging her against all logic, against all sense, back to him, and pushing her to stay. God, he wanted her to listen to that voice, like she had every other day of their lives together.

"Won't… won't it be trackable?" she asked, shaking her head to get some clarity. Her hair, which he'd always loved, so vibrant, fanned at the motion, catching morning light from the windows. He'd remember that in the days to come, sitting here drunk and delirious and ruined with this one memory of her hair reflecting red sunlight. "Isn't that why you burn through all the others and jump between numbers?"

Impulsively he touched her hair. She flinched; it was unexpected. He let the strands fall between his fingers. He might not get another chance to feel its softness, its familiar texture, and he wished he could take back every opportunity he'd missed to touch it.

"No one else has this number," he answered. "I haven't given it to anyone, so no one can track it." Heart thudding, probably pumping blood straight out of the holes they'd cut in the organ with this conversation, he shifted his fingers to her mouth. He felt her sharp intake of breath, waited for her to pull away, but she didn't. Best to say it now, then, before he lost his nerve. "If you ever need anything, I'll answer. I'll…"

I'll be there. But he couldn't say it. The words got stuck, his concentration trapped in the overwhelming sensory overload of her. The softness of her lips under the pads of his fingers. The familiar smell of her skin and clothes and hair. The brightness of her beautiful eyes, exactly as sad as he knew his must be. They had invested so much into this, and now… He swallowed again. He heard it, that and her shallow breaths. Their age-old chemistry mesmerised him and he could tell it was the same for her. It would have been no effort to lower his mouth to hers, to start that fire, to wrap his arms around her and lift her, to run his hands through her hair and feel hers in his, to push her against the wall and get his hands under her clothes, to get them off, to unzip his…

Instead, he brushed his fingers from her mouth to her cheek. His body fought every muscle twitch of his exercise in restraint.

"I know," she said finally, and he knew she did, and that understanding hurt even more than relinquishing what would have been excellent sex. She knew he would be there whenever she needed it, she knew what she was to him, she knew his devotion was incapable of compromise or degradation and that he would be ever loyal to her… and she was leaving anyway.

She was leaving.

And she wasn't going to call, because she had made up her mind in all those moments he'd made it up for her. The phone calls he hadn't made, the seduction attempts he'd dismissed because he was too focused, the irritable words he'd spoken when he was frustrated with his work and not with her. She wasn't going to call. Why would she want to?

"And, you know, if you ever need help with a case," he added, casually, dropping his hand and hoping it would take the magnetic tension with it. She nodded, channelling professionalism again.

"Right. Of course. Well, hopefully I won't need you for that. I'm not working the X-Files, remember, just Counterterrorism." She looked at him oddly. "I'm done."

I'm done. Not just with him, but with what they'd worked on together. That shocked him more than the fact that he was leaving him. "But… all our work…"

"Your work now," she said, looking much less sad about this, more certain. "I'm done with it. No more dead-end conspiracies and skygazing and inexplicable phenomena."

"It was never about that," he argued, annoyed now. Annoyed that she could whittle it down to such meaningless base elements. "Fighting for the truth, Scully, shining a light on what men with power will do with secrets they shouldn't have and making visible the people they hurt along the way."

"That's what you're upset about," she noted, cold again. "That I'm leaving the work, not that I'm leaving you."

I'm leaving you. There, the words, out in the room for them both to cringe at, peeled straight from the wall. He felt a surge of shame and rage.

"Yes!" he fumed, though there was so much more he should have said to better detail the depth of his brokenness. "That's what we stand for."

"That's what we stood for," she corrected, and he remembered the suitcase at her side. "I can't do it anymore, Mulder. From now on I stand for fighting evil that can be beaten. Don't fight me on it, Mulder," she interrupted him when he tried to disagree. "I have already given it everything I had, and it's still not done." She left the details unsaid but he heard them. Her sister. A daughter she'd not been given the chance to know. Their son. Twenty years of her life. And him, lost to her somewhere along the way, too caught up in the work to be what she deserved. "I'm done."

He stood there, rocked to his core. He really was alone. He looked from the suitcase to her face and couldn't help the cold smile that stretched, unforgiving, across his lips. "You're giving up."

It hurt her, he could tell. But she shook her head and muttered, "Whatever. It was a good fight but it's over and it's not having me." She hoisted the heavy-looking suitcase to turn it around. "I should go."

"Do you want me to carry that to the car for you?" he asked, though once he would have taken it without question. He extended a hand, hating that he was questioning his own behaviour around her already, but she raised hers to stop him.

"No. I want to do it myself. Thank you." She opened the door and took a deep, unsteady breath. "Good luck, Mulder. Take care of yourself."

Don't leave. Stay. Take care of me. Love me. I love you. I'm sorry. Please. I need you. You're everything. I don't know who I am without you. I can change. I can be better. I can take us back to better times. Just don't go.

All the best option words did not come through, and he said only, "Yeah. Sure," and she nodded resolutely, a transaction completed, and turned away to leave.

To leave.

"Scully." His voice made her stop and look back. Was that sparkle in her eye the beginnings of tears? "You… You too. Take care."

She nodded again, but with the traces of that soft smile of hers this time, and he knew it was the right thing to say. Permission to go and find herself. A clean break, on good terms, because that was the least of what they deserved.

"Thank you," she murmured, and he knew she understood.

"Just… one more thing," he made himself say, though it came out uneven, ragged. "I know, after this minute ends, you won't be with me anymore." It cut deep to say aloud. He wanted to stop, but there was something he needed to hear, and he needed to bleed first to be allowed to ask it. "I know. But…" He didn't even know how to phrase it, or whether she would get what he was asking. Her glistening eyes held him in their longing gaze while he struggled, and god, he loved her. How could this be ending? "But even if you aren't with me, are you still… with me?"

It made no sense. He wasn't certain even he knew what he had just asked, except that he knew it was a big ask and he might not like the answer. Was she still on his side, when push came to shove? Was she still going to keep his every secret, the lockbox of trustworthiness he'd fallen in love with? Did she still have his back when it counted, as only best friends do? Did she still believe in him? She stared at him, processing, struggling, halfway out the door. Halfway gone.

But she stepped back inside. She left her suitcase on the porch and came back in. She raised her hands to her neck and felt for something under her hair. She stopped right in front of him and reclasped her necklace, then looked up at him.

He felt twenty years of need and want and love and trust and friendship and wholeness in the hold of her gaze, and felt the equivalent emptiness waiting just beneath it, ready to crush him, ready to end him when she ended them. She took his hand, squeezed it gently, and coiled the chain in his palm. She closed his fingers over the necklace. The gold was still warm from her body heat.

Her voice was cracked and loaded when she spoke.

"Like you wouldn't believe."

She left quickly after that, eager not to let him see the tears as they fell though how could he miss that, and before he could get a handle on the moment it was over and the door was closing behind her, and her car was starting and she was gone, she was gone, and he was still standing where she'd left him.

Drawing a ragged breath before his own tears spilled, he opened his hand. There in his palm was the golden crucifix Maggie had given her daughter as a girl, the delicate gold chain he'd found when she was abducted by Duane Barry and again when she'd been stolen away to Antarctica. Both times he'd kept it close while she was missing, while he worked tirelessly to find a way to bring her back into his life. Both times he'd found her and given it back and their lives together had resumed.

Slowly, heavily, he dropped into his armchair, ignoring the damp towel that tumbled onto his shoulder. He stared at the little ray of hope she'd left him through glassy wet eyes. He wondered how deeply he could read into this. He raised his eyes to the blank wall opposite him and felt the hollowness of his loss and wondered whether the tiny cross could defy the truth he'd been avoiding for two decades.

The writing had been on the wall since the first moment. She was always going to leave.

The cross said something else, a message he'd listened to before only in the darkest moments of peril but which should have been his life's mantra. She can be found but she has to be earned.

He closed his hand over the cross, heart aching, and let the tears come.

--

This is the 44th chapter of my X-Files fic This Is How The World Ends, which you can read on AO3 and FF. MSR, slow burn, post-IWTB, alternative events of S10/11 ignoring most of what happened in the revival episodes. Novel-length.

[ptersparkers]

It’s a Jungle Out There

Request: So before I forget it what about a Steve x reader based on Jungle by Jon Bellion where the reader is new to New York and Steve has to basically introduce her to New York like the song suggests

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

A/N: My AMAZING friend @emily-ily2 requested this and I enjoyed writing it. This isn’t gonna be in order (in terms of the song) because it doesn’t quite go with the story I want to write. Happy reading!

The Lion is creeping But you will be sleeping Cause you're too pretty You're, you're too pretty And New York City is a jungle out there

Upon arriving to the tower, you had checked your bag to make sure your house keys were in a secured pocket. You had almost forgotten them on the kitchen counter earlier this morning and sighed in relief once you felt the cold keys press against your hand. You entered the building and greeted the secretary that let you into the elevator. 

“Good morning, Y/N,” FRIDAY greeted. 

“Morning, FRIDAY.”

“I’m trusting you slept well?” 

You grinned. “I did, thank you.” 

The doors opened and you saw the entire team longing around. 

“Did you get my email?” Pepper asked. “We have the day off. It seems like the Guardians don’t need help with the most recent mission.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows. “No, I didn’t. I guess I woke up early for nothing.” 

Pepper laughed and walked to Tony’s side. “Well, you’re more than welcome to go back home or stay here.”

“I think I might walk around the city for a while. I haven’t seen much of New York since moving here,” you said.  

“You haven’t been around the city yet?” Steve asked. You shook your head. Steve walked to the door to slip his shoes on and grabbed his coat. “I’m taking you to my favourite places.” 

The rest of the team smiled, happy that Steve had taken initiative to spend the day with his crush. Truth be told, Steve had fallen head-over-heels for you since you had accepted the job in the tower. He listened to all you had to say, never argued with your word, and did anything if it meant spending more time with you. 

“Oh, fantastic! I know I’ll most likely get lost.” Steve offered you his arm and you linked yours through his, smiling as you walked to the lobby. 

Steve knew how big New York was and felt like your protector. He knew you were so unaware of the dangers and marvels that awaited and he wanted to be there for your every adventure. 

He smiled at you as he took you window shopping, but he was even happier when your hand had slipped into his. It took everything in him to not bend down to press multiple kisses all over your adorable face, but he was content that you had your hand in his. 

These models don't mean soda when they're offering coke There's quicksand in this night life, it will swallow you whole You sound so 'effing cute when you ask me, "What is blow?" Singing New York city is a jungle out there

As you two walked and explored the city, he couldn’t help but think how much New York changed people around him. He knew people who left their small-town life in search for something bigger. He knew most didn’t make it out alive and burnt out before they started because they were wrapped up in the city life. Models who had approached Steve at bars made passes at him that he didn’t appreciate and he felt as if his own life was crumbling around him.

But you were his glue. He prayed you didn’t turn out to be like the people who threw everything away if the opportunity seemed larger than life. Steve thought his life was over once he woke up and that he was in over his head, but he was thankful he never took his start for granted and made it out in one piece, more or less. 

The sun was setting and Steve had taken you to a nearby cafe. The line wasn’t very long and you had decided on a small coffee to keep you warm from New York’s chilly breeze. Steve had left your side for a brief moment to look at the pastries a few feet away from the register.

“I’ll throw in a scone for being so beautiful,” the barista said with a wink and you blushed. Steve’s ears perked as the barista started to flirt with you and he turned his head, fuming when he saw how it affected you. Steve stood up straight and cleared his throat when he approached you. 

“Got everything you want?” he asked as he slipped his arm around your waist, pushing your body against his. Your heart sped faster and faster, and his abrupt movement caused you to trip over yourself. Your hand found its way to his chest and you were trying very hard not to ogle at his muscles or move your hand to his bicep. 

“Y-Yeah, thank you.” Steve smiled down at you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. The barista hurried to get your order and Steve paid as quickly as possible, hoping to get out of the cafe. 

“What was that?” you asked Steve once you exited the building. 

“You’re really cute,” Steve said. 

You chuckled and took a sip of your coffee. “I happen to think you’re really cute too.” Steve smiled and walked the both of you back to the tower after a long day of walking. 

“Please don’t hate me,” said Steve. 

You furrowed your eyebrows and cocked your head. “What do you mean?” 

Instead of speaking, Steve pressed his lips against yours. You closed your eyes and relished the feeing. He pulled your body closer to his and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Steve was careful when he pressed your back against the wall and the kiss seemed to last forever, not that either of you minded. After pulling back for a breath of fresh air, Steve placed his arm above yours.

“I definitely don’t hate you,” you said with your eyes closed. You opened your eyes when you heard Steve laugh. 

“Be my girl,” he said. 

You grinned. “I’m your girl.” Steve bent down to press a lingering kiss to your lips and thought about how he had gotten the girl.

I will take care of you Put the heat down, put the heat down, down So please don't be scared of me Put the heat down, put the heat down, down

Steve made a promise to himself that he’d keep you safe. He promised himself that he wouldn’t shy away from you, no matter how daunting his fears may seem. He promised himself that he’d always love and cherish you with everything he had to offer and he promised to love you unconditionally. 

Years later, he’s standing in front of you at the alter and smiled, remembering the promises he made to himself all those years ago. Now he’s saying them aloud for the first time for you to hear and he couldn’t be more grateful to have someone like you in his life.